Sometimes the day is just long and life is just a little hard. Sometimes, for one, or two, or a few of us there is just a lack of motivation to create, to go out, to be energetic or even to talk. Mostly, we have stayed positive and excited about this adventure we are on. Often we feel like our life is pregnant with something new and beautiful. Today, though, we were all just a little tired and cranky.
It was a significant leap for us to leave our jobs, our ministry, our family and our friends in Cranbrook. We were happy and comfortable. We lived in a house we owned and that suited us. We had careers. We were successful. The kids were also content where they were at. Good friends, doing well in school, enjoying that our family fostered other children. Starting fresh has been difficult for all of them too. It has been humbling to go from feeling like we have everything and we are oh-so-together, to starting from scratch.
I am not complaining. It sounds like I am complaining, but I am not. There are many beautiful and talented people that we are meeting who are suffering truly difficult things. The events on the news this week are a clear indication that we still have it pretty good. I am sharing these feelings because I think we all have bad days and we are expected to just chin up and keep trucking. I share these things because I think it's OK to be a little sad sometimes and let our kids do the same. I share these things because the truth is, sometimes there are not words, or pictures to paint, or songs to sing. Sometimes, when you are tired and your heart is heavy, there is nothing to do.
So, today, Alex was struggling with a headache and I didn't hear back from the potential job I was hoping for. The kids were cranky, overtired and snippy with each other. Even the dogs didn't seem to be getting along. So instead of some big event, or creative venture, we decided to forgo the pre-planned December fun. Tonight, Alex is making a snack and we are all piling into our bed for a big snuggle and a movie. We are going to hang on to our kids and each other, watch something clever and adventurous, and just be still.