Monday, September 15, 2008

Yes. I am melodramatic. Suck it up.

I am so affected by everything. Totally and completely. I was sitting at home today and realized that I am sad today. I couldn't figure out why. I LOVE my new job and where my old one is going. I am totally pumped about the new things starting up for us this fall. I am even excited about Levi's progress in school. I am ridiculously in love with my husband and have really delighted in this time with my daughters. Things are really good. Am I getting depressed? No, that's not it. So, why am I sad?

Upon reflection, I realized I'm not sad for me. There has been a lot going on for a lot of the people I love lately. I have administered many a hug these last couple of weeks. Sent up more petitioning prayers than I can count, and soaked up more tears with my t-shirts than I could water my tomato plants with. For a while, I contemplated the fact that I should learn to distance myself. I should figure out how to tame my emotions a bit. But I decided against it.

The thing is, for as sad as I was today, I brim with joy on other days. To see my closest friend birth her child made me weep with much more comfortable tears. A potluck with friends and the intimacy of music makes my heart want to leap right out of my chest. For whatever extremes I experience in the other direction, these ones are worth it. So today hurts. Some days hurt more. I can't fix it, or make it better, no matter how much I care, but I can grieve alongside and bear up with the people around me. The other option I think would be cynicism and, quite frankly, even the sad parts of life are too beautiful to go there.

Friday, September 05, 2008

And now for something completely different....

My friend signed me up for belly dancing classes.........

Tuesday, September 02, 2008

Milestones and Moving on

This morning an eager nine year old burst into my room long before I actually needed to be up and thinking clearly to inform me that he didn't know what to put in his lunch. I reminded him that he didn't need a lunch today because it was a half day and I was sure to add how nice he looked all dressed in his new school clothes. I wonder how long he was up before he decided to roust us.....

About every fifteen minutes for the duration of the morning I was reminded about how important it is not to be late for school. I just started making up chores to send my little man off on so I could eat, pee and dress myself in peace. There was also a lot of hugging going on between siblings as if we were sending him off to college. All this for a whole two hours of separation.

Once at school we walked over to the lists posted on the outside window to find out what class Levi was in. He is in a 4/5 split along with some of the friends he was hoping would be in his class. Then he took off running barely bothering to yell behind him, "Bye Mom!" And that, I suppose, is that.

Later, he said they didn't do much except review the school rules and sign a student agreement that basically says he will behave as politely and responsibly at school as he is expected to at home. He also informed me that he would be going to bed early tonight because the teacher suggested that they do. I should get her to suggest a few more things..........

I will post pictures as soon as I can figure out how to get the pictures on the laptop.