Creativity was meant for survival

I have four children. Jobs, pets, music, and social life notwithstanding, four children, all by themselves, make a body tired. Any new mom knows that a single squirmy, ball of pink flesh can make you delirious in a matter of days by merely introducing sleep-deprivation into your life. All that being said I have come up with the perfect way to catch a nap and keep the two younger (most likely to get into trouble) munchkins occupied. It's amazing what some cotton balls, paint brushes and a few random hair clips can do for an afternoon's entertainment. Behold.




Now that's the kind of spa treatment I could get into!

I really am a little nuts...(make sure you have your sound on)

So in this house of two adults, four kids, two cats, and a fish, I have just accomplished the unthinkable. I convinced my incredibly fabulous husband to let us keep the puppy a friend introduced us to the other night.
Not just any puppy either. A small dog breed. I never thought I would own a small dog. I always made fun of small dog owners because I figured, if you want a small dog why not just get a cat? Dogs should be larger-than-life, able to protect, fetch, bark, bound. Small dogs don't bark, they yelp and they bounce rather than bound. In light of all this, however, our new little cocker spaniel/ terrier has completely made a fool of me. I find myself calling people to them as though I was pregnant. It really quite ridiculous. But seriously, can you blame me.

And yet silver linings abound.....

Rough week. People we love in the hospital, leaky basement, relationship messiness (not with us but around us), an unusually inconvenient blackout, and just having some blatant evidence of the ugliness mankind is capable of. Pffffft!

And yet, I am again humbled by the way people pull together, pull up their socks, and just plain love the crap away. You don't get to see that kind of stuff on a day when no one has a need. Even a simple need met is a little treasure. For instance, my friend Annie filled her wee house with an abundance of children today so I could go to a meeting and Alex could deal with the puddle in the basement. This ball of human habitation has it's blemishes, but there are definitely roses among those thorns.

Simply choatic

Today I did schoolwork with the girls, read stories, giggled, ate pie and drank hot chocolate, played in snow, made lunch, did laundry, paid bills, sang songs, coached the boy on his homework and it's not even over yet!

Now we are making dinner while Alex sings "under the sea" and Selah passes gas. Nope. Never bored. Ever.

Talking about a revolution

I am reading this book that is totally kicking my socially responsible butt. It's by this guy named Shane who lives in a ghetto with a bunch of people and takes care of his neighborhood family and lets them take care of him. He is redefining community and dissecting the truth of what it really means to believe in Christ.

Battling with the homeless situation in Cranbrook this past couple of years has knocked the wind out of me somewhat. I know I want to make a difference, but there are roadblocks and critics everywhere. Sometimes the only thing I can do to stay sane is keep it all at arms length. I define the parameters of how far I am willing to go and keep my family and children quietly buffered from the struggle and suffering I can see plainly around me. I write letters and emails to the nice people to whom I pay my taxes and diplomatically, politely even, ask them to help fix the problem our oh-so-civilized selves help to create everyday. I stay carefully within the lines of rules and regulations that are meant to protect, but so often lead to an inability to help all who need it.

So in my frustration I read this book. It makes me realize how indoctrinated I am. How lines drawn by the elite become walls to high to scale between classes of people who could otherwise learn to live in creative community sharing needs and meeting needs. So maybe it's time to get creative here. I have no idea what that means on a personal level other than I am going to start removing some of the insulators. I am sharing this here because I believe an important part of community is honesty and accountability. I am going to have my own internal revolution and find a way to break out from these lines of us and them.

Someone asked where he got the rythm from.......

We few odd ducks get odder still

Alex: I am going to grab some tums when we get home, I have had heart burn all day.

Levi: what happened?

Me: A gnome lit a fire in Dad's aorta.

Levi: What's a gnome?

At which point Alex and I burst into laughter. Only our son would know what an aorta is and yet not know the word gnome.

My Meloncholy Moody Musings

No matter how you phrase it, or what euphemism you use, death is dang hard. And it seems to be going around our small community these days. It's hard not to feel a bit down. Varying degrees of hurt and sadness have accompanied each new revelation of loss depending how close or distant the relationship. What has followed each, however, is the distinct feeling that something is missing that can never be replaced.

The part that really gets to me is that with each loss comes a bombardment of memories once forgotten. Little things that didn't seem to matter at the time, or important moments that weren't truly acknowledged for their value. It is as though when someone sheds this life as we know it, the moments and memories and love that was shared with them grow a little brighter; become more than they were. I can't decide if I find this incredibly sad or incredibly beautiful, so I'll call it bittersweet.

I say sad because undoubtedly regret follows. Moments lived are, if we are truly honest, never really savored. The seemingly ordinary is far more powerful than we give it credit for. Because of this, we often forget to tell the people who inhabit those moments with us how much they mean to us, or, for that matter, don't even realize the role they play until they are gone. In my limited and immature experience, it is impossible to set out on a mission to try to be certain everyone you care for truly knows how much. I do try to make sure those I love know it, but I certainly have not succeeded in articulating the profoundness of some connections. The hardest part is, there are always those who have simply always been there and so their role is not noticed until it is missing from the script.

However, I also find this brightened, glossy memory of those no longer with us beautiful because the roots of those memories are so deep and so wide and so long that no one who loved well is ever truly lost to those left behind. They remain to remind how far our influence can reach, how connected we all really are, and how the trick to immortality is to love well and indiscriminately.

Accomplishments!

My amazing, talented husband and his friends down at Reimer & Co. Architectural Blacksmiths, had the grand unveiling of their first venture into large scale public art yesterday. Made extra exciting by the fact that this is really a step forward for Cranbrook as well. It's not really known for it's modern thinking. Here are some pictures of the day. As well, there is a picture of Mom and her happy face sunshine shepherd's pie because she didn't believe me when I said I would blog about it, and she is just so gosh darn proud of it. :) P.S. It was also delicious!

Hippies-vegtable or mineral?

So, I'm standing in front of the mirror in the bathroom along with my three daughters as we get dressed up for my lunch work party last Saturday. I am dressed up as a hippy because I happen to have a few things laying around that could be construed as hippy-ish. The conversation goes as follows.....

Alex: Seriously? A hippy? They are are going to ask you why you didn't dress up.

Me: Oh come on, like I would ever thread beads in my hair, wear six necklaces at once, or a scarf on my head.

Hannah: Mommy, is a hippy an animal?

Alex: (straight faced) It depends on who you ask.

So after all this bathroom hilarity, I drive Levi to a birthday party before taking the girls to my work party. Birthday boy's dad gives me an awfully funny look. Later, when I go to pick Levi up the dad says, "You are looking even more flower-childish than usual today."

It is so irritating when Alex is right.

I love the taste of music in the morning!

I counted. The Marriott's, in total, spend 9. 5 hours a week doing music related activities. Soon it will be 10.5 because of the new class starting up next week. These hours do not include home practice or potluck infused jamming.

During the last two months, I have seen the vast differences in how people and music co-exsist. Alex has been discovering that the gift he has exercised with his fingers dancing over strings can extend to his voice. My husband, who at first had to be convinced to take music classes, has actually been displaying signs of excitement over his discoveries there.

For Levi, music is the medium that combines his analytical nature with his creative self. He loves the predictable mathematical system that leaves room for his imagination to stretch. He will plunk out a song he knows until he gets it just right and then he will continue on with his own verse. What a perfect combination for such an imaginative scientist.

Hannah, as she does in most things, finds joy and carefree fun in her music. Whether she is playing a melody on the piano or singing, whether a song is learned or of her own creation, Hannah's whole countenance brightens. Selah joins Hannah in her enthusiasm but in her case, her whole body shows it. When the music starts playing Selah almost leaps out of her skin to take it in with every limb.

Shiloh is a sharer. Where some might enjoy music just on their own, Shiloh much prefers an audience. She is very expressive and has a message to send. Her voice is her favorite instrument.

The babies in my thursday morning class experience their music with all of their senses, with motion and play and dance and touch. It is my most favorite way to start the day. Tasting melodies with the babies.

The times, they are a changing.....

First, I have to make sure you know that I did already realize that my blog's opening line doesn't work anymore. I really did. And it's not as if I liked changing diapers, they just represent a whole lot of other stuff that goes with the baby thing.

I am just not ready to let go of it yet. Plus, I can't really figure out what stage we are in now with a toddler, a would-be teenager, and two to bridge the gap. The whole parenting thing is a lot more complicated now. What used to preoccupy my mother brain (to give vitamin D drops to the baby or not...) has grown and twisted into questions harder to research and find clear answers for (which natural consequences do I allow to play out and when do I rescue.....). Instead of conversations about exactly what shade of blue the sky is, we are talking about sex, love, and what makes a good friend.

Diapers, baths, late night feedings, slings, and all that other stuff, as chaotic as they seem, are simple. I like simple. So until I am ready to accept the fact that we have moved out of the realm of simple, I am going leave my blog one-liner as it is. Besides, it's sort of true if you count the babies I borrow to get my fix. :)

Autmumn Sky

Has anyone else around here noticed the sky lately? It has been very moody but incredibly gorgeous! The last few days, I have been finding myself fascinated by the incredible vastness of hues and shapes up there. With few colors to work with, it has certainly been amazing to see the variety. Especially in this season of competing color. Unfortunately, all I can do is tell you about my own awe because my camera cannot remotely do justice to what I am talking about. So, until I get a new camera, look up!

Random Marriott updates for all.

Shall we go youngest to oldest? Yes lets.

Selah is speaking more clearly every day. She is also just speaking more period. Like a lot. Almost constantly actually. I tried to explain what quiet was the other day. Um, ya, good luck. She has taken to singing all morning instead of talking. Cute, but problematic, since she doesn't enunciate nearly as well when singing. She has finally stopped crying when we drop Levi off at school and has formed a new mischievous partnership with her big sister Shiloh. She gets so excited about every thing and draws us all into her curiosity.

Shiloh is totally excited to be officially in Kindergarten now, although she is a bit irritated that nobody has noticed and everyone is asking about how Levi is liking school. She is handling this by demanding to do schoolwork all day long and finish early as though she will catch up to Levi. At least she is motivated! She is learning her letters and simple math and is catching on fast. Art is her favorite activity and practicing writing her letters is her least favorite. She loves to dance throughout the day, whether there is music or not. Her enthusiasm for being awake keeps the energy level up all day.

Hannah is, as ever, my ally among the children. She is the motivator when it's time to clean up and rarely complains about schoolwork or housework. She moves around the house with a quiet cheerfulness. She has taken on the role of oldest child in Levi's absence and has settled into it with confidence. I often enter a room to find her reading to her sisters aloud and carefully explaining words they don't understand or pointing out colors and letters that we were working on during our lessons. She is struggling a bit with place values in math but rather than getting discouraged she really knuckles down and does the same question over and over until she gets it right. When she has accomplished something she has been working on, the triumph on her face is priceless. Hannah started as a baby who challenged my desire to be a parent. She was sick a lot and cried often and for long periods of time. Now, though, she has truly grown into the meaning of her name, "a gracious gift."

Levi is really enjoying school for the most part and we have settled into a good rhythm in regards to lunch packing, homework, and generally being prepared. I am quite proud of how self-motivated he is, however his memory is much like his father's. I suppose it's part of the price of living with two slightly eccentric geniuses. He recently came home and told me he was joining the choir. The only problem is that practice is at 8am in the morning. How could I say no? This past week Levi has discovered a bit of the downside of to going to school. It takes much longer to get anything done and kids can be really mean without looking like bullies. We had our first long talk about choosing friends who like you for who you are and not who they want you to be. I told him about how weird Alex was but it gained him incredible friendships that have lasted years. He came home the next day and listed off the friends who like him for himself even if he is a little weird like his dad.

Well, that's pretty much it for the kidlets. Grown-up stories will have to wait, coffee is done!

Yes. I am melodramatic. Suck it up.

I am so affected by everything. Totally and completely. I was sitting at home today and realized that I am sad today. I couldn't figure out why. I LOVE my new job and where my old one is going. I am totally pumped about the new things starting up for us this fall. I am even excited about Levi's progress in school. I am ridiculously in love with my husband and have really delighted in this time with my daughters. Things are really good. Am I getting depressed? No, that's not it. So, why am I sad?

Upon reflection, I realized I'm not sad for me. There has been a lot going on for a lot of the people I love lately. I have administered many a hug these last couple of weeks. Sent up more petitioning prayers than I can count, and soaked up more tears with my t-shirts than I could water my tomato plants with. For a while, I contemplated the fact that I should learn to distance myself. I should figure out how to tame my emotions a bit. But I decided against it.

The thing is, for as sad as I was today, I brim with joy on other days. To see my closest friend birth her child made me weep with much more comfortable tears. A potluck with friends and the intimacy of music makes my heart want to leap right out of my chest. For whatever extremes I experience in the other direction, these ones are worth it. So today hurts. Some days hurt more. I can't fix it, or make it better, no matter how much I care, but I can grieve alongside and bear up with the people around me. The other option I think would be cynicism and, quite frankly, even the sad parts of life are too beautiful to go there.

And now for something completely different....

My friend signed me up for belly dancing classes.........

Milestones and Moving on

This morning an eager nine year old burst into my room long before I actually needed to be up and thinking clearly to inform me that he didn't know what to put in his lunch. I reminded him that he didn't need a lunch today because it was a half day and I was sure to add how nice he looked all dressed in his new school clothes. I wonder how long he was up before he decided to roust us.....

About every fifteen minutes for the duration of the morning I was reminded about how important it is not to be late for school. I just started making up chores to send my little man off on so I could eat, pee and dress myself in peace. There was also a lot of hugging going on between siblings as if we were sending him off to college. All this for a whole two hours of separation.

Once at school we walked over to the lists posted on the outside window to find out what class Levi was in. He is in a 4/5 split along with some of the friends he was hoping would be in his class. Then he took off running barely bothering to yell behind him, "Bye Mom!" And that, I suppose, is that.

Later, he said they didn't do much except review the school rules and sign a student agreement that basically says he will behave as politely and responsibly at school as he is expected to at home. He also informed me that he would be going to bed early tonight because the teacher suggested that they do. I should get her to suggest a few more things..........

I will post pictures as soon as I can figure out how to get the pictures on the laptop.

A mini bucket list

I spent the afternoon kayaking amidst lilly pads and raindrops at Jim Smith Lake. My friend Lizz and I have tried to have a few such outdoor adventures this summer. There hasn't been much opportunity since it's been a busy summer and one of us has four children, but we have managed a few days of natur-esk communing.

While shivering in the boat talking about Lizz's personal bucket list, we decided to put together a mini list for the next year and a half. A list of things we will aspire to do before 2010. We used Lizz's current list for ideas and I am sure we will come up with a few of our own. The only rules are that it has to be practical (I won't be going on any very large trip this year) but they have to be things we haven't ever done before. A couple of things already on the list are donate blood, camp on Mt. Fisher, and do an Okanagan wine tour. Me thinks it's going to be an interesting year!

Thank goodness that lazy saturday's haven't gone extinct!

I woke up at work this morning an lept out of bed to meet my mother-in-law for a morning of perusing the Baine's Lake farmers market. It was really fun( and fairly expensive). We enjoyed a good coffee, turkey jerky, and some cherries while we wandered about looking for items we couldn't live without. I scored a really fun skirt that morphs into a whole wardrobe and a funky bracelet that has already doubled as good kid distraction. The conversation was good. We laughed, we got serious, we pretty much caught up after a summer of total busyness. It was awesome. As if this day couldn't get any better.....

I followed up my morning at the market with an afternoon in a good friend's backyard. She is one of those friend's that I can expose all of my crazy me-ness to without fear of offense, judgment, or skepticism. Our conversation lasted for four hours and covered just about every topic you could imagine. We gorged ourselves on shared word-smithing and came out smiling.

I am so appreciative, for all my activity, that there is space in my life for deep, hilarious relationship. Home for the evening, we are heading up to the family plot-o-dirt to dig in and get messy as a group. Good 'ol tribal bonding over fresh veggies and hoses full of water! It just doesn't get better!

Mama is verging on panic!

So, six more days. Six more days until my little man enters gr. four and goes to school for the first time. I have managed to put this day off longer than most. Four years longer. But now my son is going to head off into unknown territory. Hang out with kids I may or may not like. Make decisions his Mom won't be able to congratulate or correct.

Oh, I know it's good for him! Don't lecture me in your head. I am not going to hover. I am not going to spy. And I not going to spend everyday worrying, I can't! There are three other kids here, two of whom are not getting their education outside the house just yet.

It's just that, this happened so fast. I know I rolled my eyes when anyone said, "Oh, Sarah, look at you. You are just growing up so fast." It didn't seem fast. And I can tell Levi doesn't think so either. But time sped up somewhere. What on earth do I do with that? Is it going to get faster?

Am I just crazy, or is there a chance I am not the only Mom going through this on this particular week? I am going to find some chocolate.