never a dull moment

My early Mother's day

2010-05-07T21:21:00.000-07:00

My son and daughter came home (predictably) with home made cards and such today after school. What was not predictable was the fact that my son actually made me cry with his gift. Actually, it was his card. It said this;

Dear Mom,

Thank you for all of the incredible things that you have done and all the wise decisions you have made for my life. I hope that when I grow up I will be able to do all the things you have taught me to do. I remember when I was sad because I thought I had no friends and you cheered me up. Whenever I hug you I feel safe from even the most horrible thing that would frighten me. You are my one and only Mom and I love you more than anything in the world.

Absolute love,
Levi

My niece read the letter and then she and Levi proceeded to have a very insightful conversation about why teenagers who think it is uncool to hug mothers are silly and insecure. I just stirred dinner very slowly with my back to them and grinned my face off. This mom gig is the very best thing I have ever done.

New baby

2010-02-06T14:26:00.001-08:00

I enjoyed our trip to Vancouver in November despite not being able to meet Liam because he just didn't want to come on out. It was great to spend the week leading up to his birth with his parents. Watching my daughter spontaneously and often climb into my sister's lap to cuddle her unborn cousin was delightful. Nonetheless, there was a pang of regret when we had to drive away still having not met the little man. This week my sister Leah brought him for a visit. Upon meeting my sweet nephew, all residual regret or disappointment has melted away. He is sweet and beautiful and his big grin is totally worth the wait. Thank goodness that new baby smell isn't as fleeting as new car smell.

*AND my other, biggest sister knitted me up the fingerless gloves that I have been wearing all week indoors and out as seen in the top picture. Thank you!

Creative community

2010-02-01T13:16:00.000-08:00

It is exciting to see people pull together in the face of the Haiti crisis. Don't get me wrong, I am glad we aren't sitting back globally and leaving Haiti to itself, but why is it exciting? Maybe amidst all our back-patting, we should also consider the state Haiti was in before a natural disaster made us all sit up and take notice. It was in the kind of poverty that many cultures around the world still exist in. It shouldn't be exciting to see people pull together, it should be the norm. I know, I know, I am an idealist. Cynicism hasn't quite taken root like some people think it should in me. But wouldn't it be neat if all this helpfulness was commonplace?

What if we were actually neighborly to our neighbors? What if we actually spread around all the excess so everyone had some? What if we all swallowed our pride enough to let someone else help us? As I get ready to start planning this years Love Cranbrook Day, I have been reading about other people's approach to changing the perception of community. This is one of my favorites.

What would happen if we all made a few adjustments to the way we do buissness, do our shopping, do our yardwork. Could we start a revolution of creative community? Could we morph a culture of extravagance into a culture of extravagant love?

Power of Four

2010-01-25T16:09:00.000-08:00

From my sister's blog

Four places I go regularly: KCF, Home, MusikGarten, and KCA

Four favorite smells: My husband's day old shirts. Newborn baby necks. Sunshine (yes it has a smell, just because you don't think so, doesn't make you less wrong.) Mint.

Four TV shows I watch: Big Bang, Dr.Who, Community, Numb3rs.

Four people I think will respond: I don't actually know any regular bloggers personally......

I will be making this in the very near future.

2009-12-18T17:02:00.001-08:00

http://noblepig.com/2009/12/13/kahluapecanbrown-sugar-baked-brie.aspx

Our EGG-cellent adventure!

2009-11-26T20:43:00.000-08:00

Yes, that is what you think it is.

We came across it almost by accident. There was a very small warning, that we missed, about the graphic nature of the room. While chasing a couple of our kids I turned around to see them playing a video game of some sort. Upon closer inspection I realized that yes, that is a cervix with sperm racing to the finish line (the egg). I realized this at right about the same time as another mother who was there and we both started to giggle quietly behind our children, not wanting to make a big deal about it, but thoroughly enjoying their screams of "go! go! the other sperm is going to win!". Ah Science World, always an adventure.

Taking our time in Vancouver

2009-11-24T13:45:00.000-08:00

Well, waiting is certainly not my strong suit. Leah is beautifully round and full of baby and the baby does not seem to be ready to make an appearance just yet. So we wait in wet Vancouver.

However, I am blessed enough to have a week old baby to stave off the cravings. His name is Judah and he is perfectly sweet. I was here three weeks after his older brother Tait was born and they look so alike. It is very cool to watch Shiloh and Tait (only 4 months apart) playing together and to chat about those days six years ago when they were babies crying in concert in Amanda's hallway. Is it just me or does time seem to move in sudden spurts?

Another odd event of the week past is that while making fun of her ridiculously huge stash of yarn, my sister somehow sucked me into her obsessive knitting universe. I knit a sock, almost by accident, with her next to me like a little fellow on my shoulder full of tempting whispers. I now have a starter stash of my own and for the life of me, cannot repeat a heel flap (let alone turn the thing) but I find it oddly exciting to restart the sock every time I have to frog it. I think I have become lost down the path of no return and there is a bunch of knitters hanging out at a coffee shop down by three bags full giggling about it.

Hmm not really sure where to start

2009-09-01T15:02:00.000-07:00

Well, the summer has been full and the kids have been having an awesome time too! The Marriott Tribe took a trip to Montana in August for Lifelinks Family Camp. It was incredible! The speakers were awesome, the kids teachers were enthusiastic and energetic, and the scenery was some of creation's best. We came back refreshed and ready to move mountains.

Upon our return, we got into full "Love Cranbrook Day" swing. It has been alot of planning effort, but the right people just keep coming out of the woodwork with all the right skills or finances to help. Things are rolling along more smoothly than I could have hoped and it is starting to get seriously exciting!

Also, last week, we had beach party with our church at Tie Lake and had some people getting baptized. Levi was one of them! It was so neat to hear Alex pray for Levi and encourage him in telling him what an incredible young man he is becoming.

Anyway, that pretty much sums it up for now.

Shiloh

2009-06-30T09:12:00.000-07:00

I think it may be official; the Marriott children have inherited their mother's clutz genes. At least they seem to have spread it out amongst themselves rather than have concentrated doses for each.

Hannah has had a broken collar bone, Levi a broken arm and yesterday Shiloh got her broken nose re-aligned in a four minute procedure that took about 8 hours in the hospital to wait for.

She was so brave. She hadn't eaten all day and complained only once. She had heard the explanation of the surgery and recovery early on in the day and though initially she had been scared she mustered up the courage to face a whole day of waiting with cheerfulness. In every department we visited the nurses were singing her praises. They would ask how old she was and how she broke her nose and she would tell them stories of her big brother and two sisters and camping on the weekend. When they were allowed to give her one small cup of apple juice for dinner, she was very gracious and grateful and, again, did not complain.

Of all my children, to be honest, Shiloh is the last one I expected to pull off an entire day without food or drink, lying in a bed, without severe grumpiness. She was actually cheerful and pleasant, even when asking about when she could finally eat.

I have ridiculously awesome kids. It's just that simple.

Late night, much laughing

2009-06-21T06:59:00.000-07:00

I wasn't sure what to think of this whole grad reunion idea. Does it make me feel old, or has it come too quick? Do I really want to see the pockets of people who were rather unpleasant in high school? Then there is the part where I never left Cranbrook. Anyone who has grown up in Cranbrook knows there is an expectation all through school that you will get out even if you end up coming back.

Well, who cares!? Not one person (whose opinion matters anyway). It was great to see faces of people I genuinely liked but just didn't stay in touch with. Which was a large number of faces considering how easy it is to lose touch when you go from high school graduate to housewife in a matter of days. There were a couple of people I was really grateful to reconnect with. There was even some fence mending going on.

I will say, it was very odd to overhear conversations like, "how are the kids?." My brain kept doing a double take. What do you mean "how are the kids", we are the kids! Funny how I can be married ten years with four of my own and still not be used to the idea that we are all edging towards thirty.

All in all, a wonderful evening with lots of hugging and laughing and philosophical discussion (I did bring Alex with me after all). Glad I went.

Domesticity strikes unsuspecting victim

2009-05-03T20:46:00.000-07:00

I am not entirely sure what prompted the volunteering of this particular job in the first place, but this week I found myself baking and decorating a wedding cake. My lovely friend Barb helped with research, practice cakes and the baking of the final cake. The final decorating was left to me early Saturday morning. Although I was afraid to breath for an entire morning, the thing turned out beautifully and the girl-who-doesn't-bake managed to impress. For your viewing pleasure, the cake:
Then, after all those hours of work and probably more than a few pounds of practices cakes on my hips they go and do this:

I'm not going to lie; I knew it was coming, but it hurt a little.

Casual Conversations

2009-05-02T06:48:00.000-07:00

The sun finally came out to play yesterday and we went for a fabulous walk in the trails up south star. As we were walking Selah and I had an interesting conversation.

Selah: I am getting bigger, right?

Me: You sure are.

Selah: Hey! I am almost ten!

Me: No, you are almost four. (this is about the last word I got in because Selah just streamed words after this.

Selah: If I was bigger I'm almost ten. I will be a giant and I will say FEE FI FFO FUM! Funny! I don't want to go in that water. The water is talking, mama, I don't like the water talking. I am running running! I am free! Mama, you can't run when you carry me cause I am bigger.

This last bit was quite a bit longer. She is an interesting kid. Them's the kind we make!

The apple doesn't fall far enough.....

2009-04-25T07:56:00.000-07:00

SO mom and I have been throwing the words "compulsive caregiver" back and forth lately. Both of us a bit tired and a bit overly voluntary. This morning she calls to say hi and ask if our youngest could go for visit. After some conversation about how we both have a lot going on just at the moment, we had an interesting bit of "like mother, like daughter. " Here is how the conversation went: (abridged version)

Me: You will have to drop her off at the church because there is a wedding today and Alex and I are doing the food.

Mom: Why the h*** are you doing that?! (teensy lecture about compulsive care giving here)

Me: It's not a big deal I have some help. We are coordinating a potluck but I will need to be in the kitchen early.

***********insert miscellaneous conversation here*************

Mom: So we had the BBQ for the NPD leader last night.

Me: Oh, how was it?

Mom: Well I was manning the BBQ.

Me: *hysterical laughter* Why the h*** are you doing that?!

At this point we were both laughing so hard we forgot where that conversation was going.

Say What?!?

2009-03-21T08:21:00.000-07:00

Breakfast conversation in the Marriott Household.

Shiloh: Levi, who are you going to marry?

Dad: Levi has a long time before he needs to make that decision.

Levi: Ya, like ten years.

Dad: Maybe more.

Levi: Or maybe a bit less...

Huh?

Never a Dull Haircut

2009-03-07T17:02:00.000-08:00

So this, apparently, is what happens when your church has a mustache growing competition. Alex was so proud of his facial hair that he got a perm to ice the fur cake. There were also points for naming the facial oddness. Alex has affectionately dubbed his creation, "the cake-hole indicator." He wants me to subtext this "food goes in." For pete's sake....

Now, the timing of all this was such that my baby brother and his lovely partner were coming into town just after the facial fiasco at our church. It has been the plan for a long while to have Chrystel tie my hair up in knots. It was all very painfully (no seriously, it was painful) exciting until the dreads were labeled payback for the fro. To have my attempt at self-expression be diminished to the status of simple marital retaliation is a little disappointing, but I love them anyway.

Coming up on ten years and yes, this is what we look like. Still I say, not bored, so not bored.

Locals unplugged and unhinged

2009-03-01T06:31:00.000-08:00

I cannot begin to describe the fullness of these last two nights. Incredible music played by all during and post recording. Laughing in the wee hours of the morning, singing three, four, five part harmonies to songs that warm a soul to its roots. Again, I come back to this place of awe, "This can't be real. Nobody has this kind of community." But there it is, everywhere I turn. These rambunctious, passionate, undeniably talented people that have become the other family to my family. I can't wait to hear the finished CD, with all it's perfect imperfections. It cannot possibly be an accurate portrayal of what this indescribable thing is, but it will be a single moment captured to carry into the years ahead.

Creativity was meant for survival

2009-01-22T17:02:00.000-08:00

I have four children. Jobs, pets, music, and social life notwithstanding, four children, all by themselves, make a body tired. Any new mom knows that a single squirmy, ball of pink flesh can make you delirious in a matter of days by merely introducing sleep-deprivation into your life. All that being said I have come up with the perfect way to catch a nap and keep the two younger (most likely to get into trouble) munchkins occupied. It's amazing what some cotton balls, paint brushes and a few random hair clips can do for an afternoon's entertainment. Behold.

Now that's the kind of spa treatment I could get into!

I really am a little nuts...(make sure you have your sound on)

2009-01-20T19:30:00.000-08:00

So in this house of two adults, four kids, two cats, and a fish, I have just accomplished the unthinkable. I convinced my incredibly fabulous husband to let us keep the puppy a friend introduced us to the other night.
Not just any puppy either. A small dog breed. I never thought I would own a small dog. I always made fun of small dog owners because I figured, if you want a small dog why not just get a cat? Dogs should be larger-than-life, able to protect, fetch, bark, bound. Small dogs don't bark, they yelp and they bounce rather than bound. In light of all this, however, our new little cocker spaniel/ terrier has completely made a fool of me. I find myself calling people to them as though I was pregnant. It really quite ridiculous. But seriously, can you blame me.

And yet silver linings abound.....

2009-01-08T20:47:00.000-08:00

Rough week. People we love in the hospital, leaky basement, relationship messiness (not with us but around us), an unusually inconvenient blackout, and just having some blatant evidence of the ugliness mankind is capable of. Pffffft!

And yet, I am again humbled by the way people pull together, pull up their socks, and just plain love the crap away. You don't get to see that kind of stuff on a day when no one has a need. Even a simple need met is a little treasure. For instance, my friend Annie filled her wee house with an abundance of children today so I could go to a meeting and Alex could deal with the puddle in the basement. This ball of human habitation has it's blemishes, but there are definitely roses among those thorns.

Simply choatic

2009-01-05T16:43:00.000-08:00

Today I did schoolwork with the girls, read stories, giggled, ate pie and drank hot chocolate, played in snow, made lunch, did laundry, paid bills, sang songs, coached the boy on his homework and it's not even over yet!

Now we are making dinner while Alex sings "under the sea" and Selah passes gas. Nope. Never bored. Ever.

Talking about a revolution

2009-01-03T09:09:00.000-08:00

I am reading this book that is totally kicking my socially responsible butt. It's by this guy named Shane who lives in a ghetto with a bunch of people and takes care of his neighborhood family and lets them take care of him. He is redefining community and dissecting the truth of what it really means to believe in Christ.

Battling with the homeless situation in Cranbrook this past couple of years has knocked the wind out of me somewhat. I know I want to make a difference, but there are roadblocks and critics everywhere. Sometimes the only thing I can do to stay sane is keep it all at arms length. I define the parameters of how far I am willing to go and keep my family and children quietly buffered from the struggle and suffering I can see plainly around me. I write letters and emails to the nice people to whom I pay my taxes and diplomatically, politely even, ask them to help fix the problem our oh-so-civilized selves help to create everyday. I stay carefully within the lines of rules and regulations that are meant to protect, but so often lead to an inability to help all who need it.

So in my frustration I read this book. It makes me realize how indoctrinated I am. How lines drawn by the elite become walls to high to scale between classes of people who could otherwise learn to live in creative community sharing needs and meeting needs. So maybe it's time to get creative here. I have no idea what that means on a personal level other than I am going to start removing some of the insulators. I am sharing this here because I believe an important part of community is honesty and accountability. I am going to have my own internal revolution and find a way to break out from these lines of us and them.

Someone asked where he got the rythm from.......

2008-12-08T16:46:00.000-08:00

We few odd ducks get odder still

2008-12-03T20:12:00.000-08:00

Alex: I am going to grab some tums when we get home, I have had heart burn all day.

Levi: what happened?

Me: A gnome lit a fire in Dad's aorta.

Levi: What's a gnome?

At which point Alex and I burst into laughter. Only our son would know what an aorta is and yet not know the word gnome.

My Meloncholy Moody Musings

2008-11-20T16:26:00.000-08:00

No matter how you phrase it, or what euphemism you use, death is dang hard. And it seems to be going around our small community these days. It's hard not to feel a bit down. Varying degrees of hurt and sadness have accompanied each new revelation of loss depending how close or distant the relationship. What has followed each, however, is the distinct feeling that something is missing that can never be replaced.

The part that really gets to me is that with each loss comes a bombardment of memories once forgotten. Little things that didn't seem to matter at the time, or important moments that weren't truly acknowledged for their value. It is as though when someone sheds this life as we know it, the moments and memories and love that was shared with them grow a little brighter; become more than they were. I can't decide if I find this incredibly sad or incredibly beautiful, so I'll call it bittersweet.

I say sad because undoubtedly regret follows. Moments lived are, if we are truly honest, never really savored. The seemingly ordinary is far more powerful than we give it credit for. Because of this, we often forget to tell the people who inhabit those moments with us how much they mean to us, or, for that matter, don't even realize the role they play until they are gone. In my limited and immature experience, it is impossible to set out on a mission to try to be certain everyone you care for truly knows how much. I do try to make sure those I love know it, but I certainly have not succeeded in articulating the profoundness of some connections. The hardest part is, there are always those who have simply always been there and so their role is not noticed until it is missing from the script.

However, I also find this brightened, glossy memory of those no longer with us beautiful because the roots of those memories are so deep and so wide and so long that no one who loved well is ever truly lost to those left behind. They remain to remind how far our influence can reach, how connected we all really are, and how the trick to immortality is to love well and indiscriminately.

Accomplishments!

2008-11-14T16:50:00.000-08:00

My amazing, talented husband and his friends down at Reimer & Co. Architectural Blacksmiths, had the grand unveiling of their first venture into large scale public art yesterday. Made extra exciting by the fact that this is really a step forward for Cranbrook as well. It's not really known for it's modern thinking. Here are some pictures of the day. As well, there is a picture of Mom and her happy face sunshine shepherd's pie because she didn't believe me when I said I would blog about it, and she is just so gosh darn proud of it. :) P.S. It was also delicious!

Hippies-vegtable or mineral?

2008-10-28T20:24:00.000-07:00

So, I'm standing in front of the mirror in the bathroom along with my three daughters as we get dressed up for my lunch work party last Saturday. I am dressed up as a hippy because I happen to have a few things laying around that could be construed as hippy-ish. The conversation goes as follows.....

Alex: Seriously? A hippy? They are are going to ask you why you didn't dress up.

Me: Oh come on, like I would ever thread beads in my hair, wear six necklaces at once, or a scarf on my head.

Hannah: Mommy, is a hippy an animal?

Alex: (straight faced) It depends on who you ask.

So after all this bathroom hilarity, I drive Levi to a birthday party before taking the girls to my work party. Birthday boy's dad gives me an awfully funny look. Later, when I go to pick Levi up the dad says, "You are looking even more flower-childish than usual today."

It is so irritating when Alex is right.

I love the taste of music in the morning!

2008-10-22T08:40:00.000-07:00

I counted. The Marriott's, in total, spend 9. 5 hours a week doing music related activities. Soon it will be 10.5 because of the new class starting up next week. These hours do not include home practice or potluck infused jamming.

During the last two months, I have seen the vast differences in how people and music co-exsist. Alex has been discovering that the gift he has exercised with his fingers dancing over strings can extend to his voice. My husband, who at first had to be convinced to take music classes, has actually been displaying signs of excitement over his discoveries there.

For Levi, music is the medium that combines his analytical nature with his creative self. He loves the predictable mathematical system that leaves room for his imagination to stretch. He will plunk out a song he knows until he gets it just right and then he will continue on with his own verse. What a perfect combination for such an imaginative scientist.

Hannah, as she does in most things, finds joy and carefree fun in her music. Whether she is playing a melody on the piano or singing, whether a song is learned or of her own creation, Hannah's whole countenance brightens. Selah joins Hannah in her enthusiasm but in her case, her whole body shows it. When the music starts playing Selah almost leaps out of her skin to take it in with every limb.

Shiloh is a sharer. Where some might enjoy music just on their own, Shiloh much prefers an audience. She is very expressive and has a message to send. Her voice is her favorite instrument.

The babies in my thursday morning class experience their music with all of their senses, with motion and play and dance and touch. It is my most favorite way to start the day. Tasting melodies with the babies.

The times, they are a changing.....

2008-10-13T21:17:00.001-07:00

First, I have to make sure you know that I did already realize that my blog's opening line doesn't work anymore. I really did. And it's not as if I liked changing diapers, they just represent a whole lot of other stuff that goes with the baby thing.

I am just not ready to let go of it yet. Plus, I can't really figure out what stage we are in now with a toddler, a would-be teenager, and two to bridge the gap. The whole parenting thing is a lot more complicated now. What used to preoccupy my mother brain (to give vitamin D drops to the baby or not...) has grown and twisted into questions harder to research and find clear answers for (which natural consequences do I allow to play out and when do I rescue.....). Instead of conversations about exactly what shade of blue the sky is, we are talking about sex, love, and what makes a good friend.

Diapers, baths, late night feedings, slings, and all that other stuff, as chaotic as they seem, are simple. I like simple. So until I am ready to accept the fact that we have moved out of the realm of simple, I am going leave my blog one-liner as it is. Besides, it's sort of true if you count the babies I borrow to get my fix. :)

Autmumn Sky

2008-10-10T11:25:00.000-07:00

Has anyone else around here noticed the sky lately? It has been very moody but incredibly gorgeous! The last few days, I have been finding myself fascinated by the incredible vastness of hues and shapes up there. With few colors to work with, it has certainly been amazing to see the variety. Especially in this season of competing color. Unfortunately, all I can do is tell you about my own awe because my camera cannot remotely do justice to what I am talking about. So, until I get a new camera, look up!

Random Marriott updates for all.

2008-10-06T08:26:00.000-07:00

Shall we go youngest to oldest? Yes lets.

Selah is speaking more clearly every day. She is also just speaking more period. Like a lot. Almost constantly actually. I tried to explain what quiet was the other day. Um, ya, good luck. She has taken to singing all morning instead of talking. Cute, but problematic, since she doesn't enunciate nearly as well when singing. She has finally stopped crying when we drop Levi off at school and has formed a new mischievous partnership with her big sister Shiloh. She gets so excited about every thing and draws us all into her curiosity.

Shiloh is totally excited to be officially in Kindergarten now, although she is a bit irritated that nobody has noticed and everyone is asking about how Levi is liking school. She is handling this by demanding to do schoolwork all day long and finish early as though she will catch up to Levi. At least she is motivated! She is learning her letters and simple math and is catching on fast. Art is her favorite activity and practicing writing her letters is her least favorite. She loves to dance throughout the day, whether there is music or not. Her enthusiasm for being awake keeps the energy level up all day.

Hannah is, as ever, my ally among the children. She is the motivator when it's time to clean up and rarely complains about schoolwork or housework. She moves around the house with a quiet cheerfulness. She has taken on the role of oldest child in Levi's absence and has settled into it with confidence. I often enter a room to find her reading to her sisters aloud and carefully explaining words they don't understand or pointing out colors and letters that we were working on during our lessons. She is struggling a bit with place values in math but rather than getting discouraged she really knuckles down and does the same question over and over until she gets it right. When she has accomplished something she has been working on, the triumph on her face is priceless. Hannah started as a baby who challenged my desire to be a parent. She was sick a lot and cried often and for long periods of time. Now, though, she has truly grown into the meaning of her name, "a gracious gift."

Levi is really enjoying school for the most part and we have settled into a good rhythm in regards to lunch packing, homework, and generally being prepared. I am quite proud of how self-motivated he is, however his memory is much like his father's. I suppose it's part of the price of living with two slightly eccentric geniuses. He recently came home and told me he was joining the choir. The only problem is that practice is at 8am in the morning. How could I say no? This past week Levi has discovered a bit of the downside of to going to school. It takes much longer to get anything done and kids can be really mean without looking like bullies. We had our first long talk about choosing friends who like you for who you are and not who they want you to be. I told him about how weird Alex was but it gained him incredible friendships that have lasted years. He came home the next day and listed off the friends who like him for himself even if he is a little weird like his dad.

Well, that's pretty much it for the kidlets. Grown-up stories will have to wait, coffee is done!

Yes. I am melodramatic. Suck it up.

2008-09-15T20:13:00.000-07:00

I am so affected by everything. Totally and completely. I was sitting at home today and realized that I am sad today. I couldn't figure out why. I LOVE my new job and where my old one is going. I am totally pumped about the new things starting up for us this fall. I am even excited about Levi's progress in school. I am ridiculously in love with my husband and have really delighted in this time with my daughters. Things are really good. Am I getting depressed? No, that's not it. So, why am I sad?

Upon reflection, I realized I'm not sad for me. There has been a lot going on for a lot of the people I love lately. I have administered many a hug these last couple of weeks. Sent up more petitioning prayers than I can count, and soaked up more tears with my t-shirts than I could water my tomato plants with. For a while, I contemplated the fact that I should learn to distance myself. I should figure out how to tame my emotions a bit. But I decided against it.

The thing is, for as sad as I was today, I brim with joy on other days. To see my closest friend birth her child made me weep with much more comfortable tears. A potluck with friends and the intimacy of music makes my heart want to leap right out of my chest. For whatever extremes I experience in the other direction, these ones are worth it. So today hurts. Some days hurt more. I can't fix it, or make it better, no matter how much I care, but I can grieve alongside and bear up with the people around me. The other option I think would be cynicism and, quite frankly, even the sad parts of life are too beautiful to go there.

And now for something completely different....

2008-09-05T18:34:00.000-07:00

My friend signed me up for belly dancing classes.........

Milestones and Moving on

2008-09-02T20:12:00.000-07:00

This morning an eager nine year old burst into my room long before I actually needed to be up and thinking clearly to inform me that he didn't know what to put in his lunch. I reminded him that he didn't need a lunch today because it was a half day and I was sure to add how nice he looked all dressed in his new school clothes. I wonder how long he was up before he decided to roust us.....

About every fifteen minutes for the duration of the morning I was reminded about how important it is not to be late for school. I just started making up chores to send my little man off on so I could eat, pee and dress myself in peace. There was also a lot of hugging going on between siblings as if we were sending him off to college. All this for a whole two hours of separation.

Once at school we walked over to the lists posted on the outside window to find out what class Levi was in. He is in a 4/5 split along with some of the friends he was hoping would be in his class. Then he took off running barely bothering to yell behind him, "Bye Mom!" And that, I suppose, is that.

Later, he said they didn't do much except review the school rules and sign a student agreement that basically says he will behave as politely and responsibly at school as he is expected to at home. He also informed me that he would be going to bed early tonight because the teacher suggested that they do. I should get her to suggest a few more things..........

I will post pictures as soon as I can figure out how to get the pictures on the laptop.

A mini bucket list

2008-08-31T15:32:00.001-07:00

I spent the afternoon kayaking amidst lilly pads and raindrops at Jim Smith Lake. My friend Lizz and I have tried to have a few such outdoor adventures this summer. There hasn't been much opportunity since it's been a busy summer and one of us has four children, but we have managed a few days of natur-esk communing.

While shivering in the boat talking about Lizz's personal bucket list, we decided to put together a mini list for the next year and a half. A list of things we will aspire to do before 2010. We used Lizz's current list for ideas and I am sure we will come up with a few of our own. The only rules are that it has to be practical (I won't be going on any very large trip this year) but they have to be things we haven't ever done before. A couple of things already on the list are donate blood, camp on Mt. Fisher, and do an Okanagan wine tour. Me thinks it's going to be an interesting year!

Thank goodness that lazy saturday's haven't gone extinct!

2008-08-30T17:56:00.000-07:00

I woke up at work this morning an lept out of bed to meet my mother-in-law for a morning of perusing the Baine's Lake farmers market. It was really fun( and fairly expensive). We enjoyed a good coffee, turkey jerky, and some cherries while we wandered about looking for items we couldn't live without. I scored a really fun skirt that morphs into a whole wardrobe and a funky bracelet that has already doubled as good kid distraction. The conversation was good. We laughed, we got serious, we pretty much caught up after a summer of total busyness. It was awesome. As if this day couldn't get any better.....

I followed up my morning at the market with an afternoon in a good friend's backyard. She is one of those friend's that I can expose all of my crazy me-ness to without fear of offense, judgment, or skepticism. Our conversation lasted for four hours and covered just about every topic you could imagine. We gorged ourselves on shared word-smithing and came out smiling.

I am so appreciative, for all my activity, that there is space in my life for deep, hilarious relationship. Home for the evening, we are heading up to the family plot-o-dirt to dig in and get messy as a group. Good 'ol tribal bonding over fresh veggies and hoses full of water! It just doesn't get better!

Mama is verging on panic!

2008-08-27T10:38:00.000-07:00

So, six more days. Six more days until my little man enters gr. four and goes to school for the first time. I have managed to put this day off longer than most. Four years longer. But now my son is going to head off into unknown territory. Hang out with kids I may or may not like. Make decisions his Mom won't be able to congratulate or correct.

Oh, I know it's good for him! Don't lecture me in your head. I am not going to hover. I am not going to spy. And I not going to spend everyday worrying, I can't! There are three other kids here, two of whom are not getting their education outside the house just yet.

It's just that, this happened so fast. I know I rolled my eyes when anyone said, "Oh, Sarah, look at you. You are just growing up so fast." It didn't seem fast. And I can tell Levi doesn't think so either. But time sped up somewhere. What on earth do I do with that? Is it going to get faster?

Am I just crazy, or is there a chance I am not the only Mom going through this on this particular week? I am going to find some chocolate.

Levi's adventurous birthday

2008-08-24T18:53:00.000-07:00

It was a great day all around, spent with family and friends. The highlight however, according to Levi was our encounter with law enforcement. The story goes....

We were getting ready to have the families up for dessert and realized we didn't have enough fruit for fruit salad, so we decided to run to the store. Now that we have the scooter we try to use the van as little as possible. Levi wanted to go pick out his own fruit so we thought maybe a good birthday privilege was a ride on the scooter.

We found a suitable helmet and Levi and I headed to the store. Part way there, we hear the oh-so-comforting sound of a siren and pull over. Of course, I am panicking thinking, "Was I speeding? Did I miss a stop sign? And in front of my son! Good job Mom!" He asks for my license and registration, very politely. As I hand it over I ask, "Was I going to fast officer?" His reply was, " Well, you just seemed little and so.......I thought since I pulled you over anyway, I should check you license just in case."

At least he had the good sense to look a little sheepish and Levi was just so interested in the whole event I don't think he noticed that the nice police man was actually pulling us over because he thought we were children out for a joyride.

Happy Birthday Levi!

YAY!! and ACK!!! all at the same time.

2008-07-31T19:11:00.000-07:00

It's official! We are on file at the ministry of children and families as foster parents. They took a family photo and everything. So now we wait. The kids ask almost constantly when a child will be placed with us. We have had some very interesting conversations about why it's not really something we should hope for because it means that there is a little boy or girl who, for whatever reason, can't be with their own parents. Obviously most of our current population doesn't quite get this concept so they continue to ask.

Another interesting conversation was when the social workers came over and asked about my job and I told them it changed. Again. For the umpteenth time since we started this process. They assured me that they don't think I'm flakey anyway.

As for the job thing, I am working one to two nights a week for now and waiting for an interview with another organization where I can have flexible hours. I will be teaching two music classes in the fall and though it's not tons of money, it'll do. All this has the added bonus of being able to parent my own children again. Which is SO nice. Today we barbecued dinner for Daddy, did the dishes and walked to the garden as a family. Quite loverly.

That money thing has always worked itself out before. It will do so again I'm sure. :)

Seattle and Anniversary # 9!

2008-07-17T07:42:00.000-07:00

I have spent the last week in Seattle training to be a MusikGarten teacher. Every day at least once my heart just skips a beat with the utter certainty that I have always been supposed to do this. The idea of teaching families (not just children) the value of music to a body, mind, and soul, excites me and fills me with wonder. Being a Dalton, all the world hasn't just been a stage , it's been musical theater. There was always breaking out in to song for every occasion. What I once thought of as weird, I am coming to learn, is actually a huge part of what makes me, well, me. Now I get to share it in such a lovely way. I am SO excited!!

Speaking of breaking out into song, it wasn't so very long ago that my new husband stared at me blankly and asked me why on earth I kept randomly singing. Since then he has learned the whys behind that and so many other Daltonly quirks that have popped up. I have discovered the background to his many little quirks as well and fallen more in love with him for the learning.

A few nights before I left, we were laying in bed talking about life and all it's little fun moments. After a particularly sweet discussion, I leaned over and said, "I am still madly in love with you." "Thanks," he said. I waited. Then I said, "You are supposed to tell me how madly in love with me you are too!" His reply was, "I didn't know there was a script!" "You have been married to me too many years to not know there is a script!!" Without missing a beat, my dear, sweet, hilarious husband hollers, "Line!" And we both burst into fits of laughter rolling on the bed.

Damn I love that man!! Happy anniversary honey! I totally miss you and can't wait to see you!!

Into every life, a few weirdos must fall...

2008-06-29T21:31:00.000-07:00

That's what the pastor at church said this morning during a sermon on mercy. At the time all I could think was, "you have no idea....." Little did I know that later on this very day my dear sister and her hubby would visit and prove our pastors theory.

I was going to blog about the tickle camel and the kid's enjoyment of him but as I sat at the computer next to my dosing brother-in-law, my sister snuck up on him. Carefully lifting the bottom of his shirt, she has woken him with a zerbert to the belly. Lifting his head suddenly, he squealed, "what are you doing, where's the brie?" It's all about priorities.....

Meanwhile the batteries in the camera are dead so tickle camel pictures will have to wait until tomorrow.

so .....ok then

2008-06-17T23:00:00.000-07:00

new van. suddenly, cleanly broken axle. S'ok, fixed by a friend. Mechanic friend is beginning to believe that vans really are repulsed by us. Whatever. It runs now. And honestly at this point, if we get stuck somewhere while on vacation this summer, I don't think it will hurt my feelings to have an excuse to not come back to work for a little while longer.

In other news, I have new wine glasses, and pretty new blackberry wine. So....Yum!

Dear Dad

2008-06-16T06:29:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was a crazy roller coaster and so I am a day late but here it is.

What she said and.....

"As long as one and one make two, there has never been a daughter loved her Father more than I love you"

I am so appreciative that even when we stubborn two were butting heads during my hormonal years, if there was a banquet, or a mania, or a perry creek party, I could still dance with my Daddy. Watching you dance with my daughter this year was priceless.

Although I must say, this is the only time I can remember that your dance partner's style was more eccentric than your own.

I love you!!

I AM the little engine that could. I think.

2008-06-13T11:59:00.000-07:00

I made turkey/chicken soup first thing this morning.
My phone rang a total of eight times before I left the house at 9:30 with six kids to run errands and visit the animals at Top Crop.
All my daughters have pigtails today. That may not seem like a big deal to anyone who doesn't have three daughters under the age of 8, but it is. Trust me.
Juggle cell phone calls regarding babysitters during work next week and switching shifts so I can have one day off this week.
Home for a good wholesome lunch after dropping Levi off at the school at 12:00.
Clean up and laundry. Sort recycling. Wrap Alexanders gift.
Blog!
Get Hannah working on her schoolwork. Out again by 2:00
Drop off schoolwork and books at the other school.
Drop off recycling.
Drop off Shiloh at the birthday party. Pick up Levi.
Off to the eye Dr. for Levi
Back home again for good wholesome dinner. Pick up Shiloh.
Kiss husband. Soundly. Twice at least.
Start dishwasher and laundry.
Off to work.

As I am typing this I am only on the first load of laundry on the list. It appears I am going to need a little more coffee.

Wet and wild

2008-06-11T07:41:00.000-07:00

It has been bucketing rain for what has come to feel like weeks. It has confirmed that the coast is simply not ever going to be an option for habitation. I would go nuts. There is mud in the entrance way that just comes back within hours of my cleaning it up, I can't weed my garden or cut my grass, and yesterday was spent sucking up water and drying out the carpet downstairs because someone knocked the bottom off one of the gutter drains again. I am so ready for sunshine.

In other news, I was honored to be witness to the birth of Micah Thomas Stevenson on Saturday evening. He was born right between a celebration at Mayook and the Luminary service at Relay-for-life, Beth and I were playing at. So far he is behaving just as convenient as his birth. He eats and sleeps well, is not overly fussy, and he is beautiful. Fresh baby makes everything more bearable, including flooded basements.

We also have a new van so I don't have to worry about being stranded with 6 or 7 kids downtown when the old van decided no amount of coaxing will get it going again. I will miss the seats in the middle that can turn around but the trade is that we now have sliding doors on either side and auto start button. Plus, it's green!

Well, I think that's it. Why do I feel like there is more going on? Nope. That's it. Have a nice day!

Tonight

2008-06-07T14:28:00.000-07:00

Beth and I are going to folk-out at the Kimberly relay-for-life tonight, so I got all gussied up for the occasion. I even put on make-up! As I sat down to check my email, Selah hops up on my lap and stares at me concerned.

"Mama?"
"Yes, Selah?"
"You ate the paint?"

This tells you how often I wear lipstick. If I was one of those "well-put-together" ladies, my Saturday afternoon wouldn't have induced nearly as much laughter. Cheers to us granola girls!

side-note

2008-06-02T22:07:00.000-07:00

The eyebrow waxing was a totally spontaneous, bizarre lapse in judgment that never made it to my toes. As I said, I am better now and everything will grow back. Besides, it's just like playing dress-up. I like dress-up. :P

In a nutshell

2008-06-02T11:15:00.000-07:00

This week in reader's digest version.....

Job's changing again, just not sure exactly how.

Had extra kids all week. For two days in a row we had Kensi (3) and Dallin (9? mnths). On day one, I brought Dallin to the baby music class I teach on Thursday mornings. What a riot! On day two, we all went to the trout hatchery with the other local homeschooling families. Um, yea...anyway....

My beautiful, round-bellied friend, Barb brought me to meet the new midwife who is working with Jane. She was lovely and I look forward to working with her, if not with Barb, in the future with another Mother.

Saturday morning Mom and Dad took the kids to a parade while Alex and I had a date that began with a picnic and checking out the garage sales and ending in a bizarre lapse of sanity on my part. I chopped all my hair off (Lizz did a beautiful job), bought make-up, and let someone wax my eyebrows. (??#??#??#) She told me how updated I look now. All I could think was, "You can't update me, I'm twenty-six, I'm new!" I'm better now and am just glad I didn't do anything more permanent like get piercings or a tattoo. God help me when I turn forty.

What brought on the neurotic episode is the fact that my baby turned three yesterday marking my official exit from the land of babies and toddlers. I know most people are thinking I should be relieved, but I walked out of high school and gave birth. This is a very different experience. I am really just not sure what the heck to do with it. Anyway, the birthday party was fun and Selah got some very cool instruments from the Grandparents and honorary Grandma.

After the party, the day went completely sideways and though blog-worthy, it will have to wait until I have time to post again.

Odds and sods of Spring

2008-05-29T16:15:00.000-07:00

The day after

2008-05-14T12:58:00.000-07:00

News vans, satellites, clean-up crews and random spectators are everywhere as I step outside my door. I tried to garden, watch "Rupert" with the kids, eat a pizza picnic in the backyard. Normal, everyday things. Things that remind you that life keeps ticking away no matter the circumstance.

Though I go through the motions, my mind returns constantly to a friend of mine who is now mourning the loss of a family member. It has vividly brought back the feeling I had in the first weeks after Dooger died. That desperate need to scream at the universe, "Take it back!!!" Trying to figure out how to claw back the hands of the clock to a place in time when you could change the course of history.

Now, mingled with the news regurgitating everything about the Sullivan mine accident two years ago tomorrow, there is news of this new tragedy. New people whose absence this community must adjust to. New people whose stories will be told over and over in the coming months through tears and laughter.

So again, as two years ago, I am reminded that the only day we were promised was yesterday. With my beautiful munchkins beside me I am going to put some more green things in the ground and let the sunshine wash away some of this weary feeling.

Last night a friend shared a song with me that was perfection in that moment.
The last verse goes like this....

It all seems so obvious now
When I look back over my life
There's a need for sorrow and doubt
For darkness and for light
It's how it must be

All in good time.....
The bad time will be gone

May 13, 2008

2008-05-13T14:08:00.000-07:00

Approximately two hours ago, four people died tragically in a helicopter accident at the bottom of our alley. We were sitting at our window when we noticed the low flying aircraft above the houses across the street. The men inside appeared to be looking for something as the helicopter swayed from side to side. Moments later we heard the crash and saw the smoke.

We rushed outside to find the alley engulfed in thick black smoke. We thought the house on the corner was on fire. As the smoke cleared we stood helpless while a body lay in flames in the street. We could not go any closer to try and help because of the ignited fuel on the ground and the popping sounds still coming from the wreckage.

Now, as I watch the spectators congregating outside our windows, I am repulsed by the gawking. People taking pictures with their cell-phones and camera's. Teenagers laughing and pushing each other around. The looks on people's faces make it seem as if they are at a carnival; as though they aren't at the site of a tragedy. As though four lives didn't just end in all this entertainment. As though there aren't four bodies of people who were loved laying underneath those tarps.

I find myself offering up a prayer not just for the victims and their families but also for the people walking down my street. I pray that they may be touched by the deep sorrow of what has happened here. I am not sure how I feel about being part of a society whose curiosity is capable of outweighing their compassion.

Mommy, Madre, Mama, Mammy, Mutter

2008-05-10T17:32:00.000-07:00

Tomorrow will be my 9th Mother's day (if you count the pregnant one) as one of the honored guests. My house daily overflows with kids and their laughter and tantrums alike. And I love it! And I am regularly seized with excitement mingled with terror as we ride this wild roller coaster of parenting.

Even on the days that I am longing for a vacation, I am filled with gratitude. I won't tell them until they are ready to move out (for fear that it may go to their heads) but these small people inhabiting my home are the not the only students of life lessons here. Even as I instruct, and console, and mend, and kiss, and wait, and breathe, and count to ten, I am struck by the knowledge that these "teachable moments" are as much for me as for them. There are so many revelations to be unwrapped in the words and through the eyes of children.

I have learned that patience takes practice for everyone, no matter how many years you have lived.
I have learned that ants, blades of grass, wind, moving water, and human body are creations deserving of observation.
I have learned that even something as common as the birth of another baby can hold the status of miracle.
I have learned that crayon can be washed out of a dryer with WD-40 and time.
I have learned that potty-training comes in it's own time despite singing potties, color changing pull-ups, and cool books about peeing.
I have learned that the very best, meticulously made plans just aren't worth anything when the latest favorite teddy is lost.
I have learned that love has no boundaries. None. It can go everywhere.
I have learned that little boys are born thinking little girls have penis envy. That one is definitely nature rather than nurture.
I have learned that even though scraped knees hurt, they are crucial to the process of learning to ride a bike and the even more difficult lesson is that heartbreaks are crucial to learning the lessons of friendship, self-worth, and compassion.

I am still learning how to let go and trust other people not to damage the children I love so deeply.
I am still learning how not to come to the rescue all the time.
I am still learning how very not in control of anything I really am.
I am still learning that sometimes resistance is futile.
I am learning that Motherhood belongs to anybody who chooses to nurture, lift up, mend, and teach.

And most importantly, I think, I am coming to understand why God doesn't always come to my rescue just when and how I ask. Yet, just as I am waiting to embrace my children after a particularly difficult lesson or applaud them when they accomplish something that seemed impossible to them before, I know my Abba is there.

There are so very many lessons yet to come on this ever evolving journey and I hope I remember to slow down and pay attention enough to learn them well.

Happy 29th birthday to my very own genius saskwatch!

2008-05-09T00:16:00.000-07:00

So, we were at a wedding last year or maybe the year before and Alex's big revelation to the groom was that marriage was like a really long sleepover. It's probably not a comment you're going to read in a Shakespeare romance, but it gave me warm fuzzies all over anyway. Probably the biggest compliment a person could get is that after several years of marriage, their spouse still calls it a sleepover. On one Alex-planned anniversary, we dyed our hair blue. Now that is some sizzling love-life right there. Serious points for originality. He is an amazing Daddy who isn't afraid to change a diaper or kiss a boo-boo. He is also a fabulous teacher, not just to our kids but also to the people around us. He has this way of being downright direct without ever making you feel judged. He is equally passionate about his faith and his pursuit of science. He can bring the two into a harmony I never would have thought possible. He is friendly and warm, gentle and honorable. He is generous and forgiving beyond anyone else I have ever met. He is an artist and a scientist. A skilled tradesman and a poet. A geek and goofball. And above all else, he is hairy. Really really hairy. Our children will have toe hair.

Happy birthday my love!!

Blog therapy

2008-05-07T17:42:00.000-07:00

After a very in-depth, emotional conversation with my mother, I have come to the conclusion that my undisciplined toe hair practices are a result of low self-esteem caused by seeing my father wearing pink tights in public. Childhood trauma like that simply cannot be undone by therapy.......

( I should probably clarify that the pink tights were part of a town crier costume for the children's festival. For the record, when you are coming up on adolescence, knowing the purpose of the pink tights does not lessen the impact.)

Meh..

2008-05-07T13:58:00.000-07:00

After doing some errands with spring fever afflicted children, I still needed to go to the store but didn't have the motivation. So, to keep myself going, I called a very pregnant friend who just started her maternity leave. Seconds after getting into the vehicle, she comments on my bright yellow socks and tsk's at me for wearing them with sandles. I explained that I do understand, and mostly follow, the no-socks-in-the-sandles fashion rule. The reason for the yellow socks was Selah's music lesson this morning. Toddlers and toe hair don't mix. Now, this answer seems perfectly reasonable to me. However, her reaction was bouts of laughter intermingled with a lecture on tweezers and their usefulness. My reaction, of course, is why the heck would I tweeze my poor toes when I can just apply yellow socks? My way seems far less painful and time-consuming. Besides, what did my toes ever do to deserve that kind of torture. yeesh.

So anyway, we continue on our way and it begins to bucket rain. Big, fat, splats of water worthy of rain forest weather were hitting my windshield. So I did what I usually do and rolled down the window about two inches, turned on the wipers, and stuck my hand out so the wiper would hit my hand and bounce back instead of getting stuck on the side like it usually does. My friend starts laughing hysterically. In retrospect, this seems far less odd than it did at the time. I would probably laugh at someone if I saw them casually flicking their wiper back into rhythm at every swipe. The whole trip reaffirmed once again that my life is just not boring.

Ch-ch-ch-ch-changes!

2008-05-05T23:33:00.000-07:00

So my world has (from the moment I was born, I'm sure) been this big ball of uncertain evolutions. This particular season has many interesting turns of events. My hours are cut at work again, we may or may not be housing a fifth child on weekends for awhile, the "Refuge" has closed for the summer, Seattle and teaching children's music is back on, the van is dying a slow painful death, Levi has officially moved downstairs and, to top it all off, Levi is enrolled in school for the fall. Whew! I can barely keep up, I am sure you guys are reading it twice making sure you don't miss anything important.

In the meantime, I am still finding my moments of sanity in the wee hours when I arrive home from work. Hence this early A.M. post. Can't say this is where I pictured myself at 26, but I am certainly far from bored!

Besides, that cliche about kootenay weather applies to my life too. You know, if you don't like it, wait 5 minutes, it'll change!

PIctures of park camping and Alex's new ride.

2008-04-29T08:24:00.001-07:00

Tent city

2008-04-16T07:53:00.000-07:00

It was cold. And loud. And uncomfortable. And did I mention cold? In fact it was the first morning in several weeks that folks here woke up to their vehicles being covered in frost. I climbed into our tent around 11:15 P.M. next to my son, tucked him in a little tighter and tried to get warm and fall asleep. Who would have thought night life in little 'ol Cranny could be so full of ruckus.

All this was to raise awareness that Cranbrook has an actual, for real, honest to goodness, homeless problem. Especially now, as housing costs rise and minimum wage doesn't, people are finding themselves on friends couches. Those that are lucky enough to have friends with that kind of generosity anyway. So, a tent city in the central park was proposed. I didn't count the tents, but I was impressed with the turnout. I was also impressed with the variety of people from all social classes. Even a few of the homeless themselves joined us. In fact, one particularly friendly gentlemen woke us at a rather ungodly hour to remind us that by now we would have had to take down and hide our tents, were this really our lot in life. In fact we slept in a good half hour more than the men who stay at The Refuge get to.

As a humorous aside, my Mother seems to have a strange reaction to the combination of cold and lack of sleep. At some point during the night, I am not sure when, since I was at least partly asleep, she leans over to me giggling. Between quiet bouts of laughter she says, "so we were playing Taboo..." and then breaks out into what can now be described as uncontrollable laughter. At this point, I am thinking, "well that was a weird thing to suddenly blurt out." A few seconds later she manages to say, "Ferdy points at me and says, "what you are (more hysterical laughter here) except wrapped in cotton."" At this point I am now unable to quell my own laughter, because Mom can't even speak. Not only that, but I am picturing my Mother wrapped in cotton batting doing this weird trying-to-escape wiggle that she was doing in her jacket earlier in the evening. Well the word turned out to be mummy, which I would have gotten if it weren't for the late hour and my Mother's odd behaviour distracting me. It occurs to me now that this may not be quite as funny to someone reading my blog as it was to us but it still makes me giggle.

Anyway, pictures to come soon.....

bummer

2008-04-08T13:54:00.000-07:00

It doesn't look like I will make it to Seattle this July after all. Our music teacher, finding her life too hectic, has decided to scale down her lessons so she can spend more time with her family. A decision that would normally elicit my admiration, has instead aroused my selfish disappointment. Ah, such is life...

Just enjoying the process

2008-04-01T11:24:00.000-07:00

Last night the Fiona came and interviewed the kids. It was hysterical, I laughed so hard it hurt. I had to be in the other room where the kids couldn't see me, but she said I could listen so I did. All three of the kids who could talk pegged Hannah as the person who laughs the most in our family and Selah as the one who cries the most. Levi said he could handle another girl in our family, but he hopes he can go play somewhere else more then. Hannah talked about absolutely everything she could think of even if no questions were asked. Shiloh somehow managed to answer every question with something to do with princesses and complained that Levi wouldn't play princesses even when they really needed a prince.

So that's it. The last of our home study. In a few weeks, Fiona will bring us her overview and we will go over it and make sure it is a good representation of our family. This process has been difficult at times; peeling back the layers can be uncomfortable as anyone knows. It has also definitely had it's benefits. We have learned some things about ourselves and our kids and asked questions we wouldn't otherwise have asked. Overall, no matter the outcome, I am really glad we have gone through this process. I appreciate being able to look back six months and see personal growth as well as relational growth in our family. It gives me a sense of moving forward even if it doesn't immediately take us anywhere.

Feaster

2008-03-29T22:21:00.001-07:00

Easter, being very busy for us every year, and us, being cheap, means we don't do the Easter bunny thing. Instead we stock up when everything goes %50 off and we do the Marriott family FEASTER the weekend after. Goodies and games and all around merriment are themes of the day and I have set out the goodies and am gearing up for a morning of fun. Holidays totally made-up and original are cooler than the trendy, everybody-does-it, days anyway. :P

Out on the trail

2008-03-22T17:10:00.000-07:00

Today we actually had a lazy Saturday. We did not leave the house until just before noon. We did not clean or cook. When we left the house, we spent most of our time away playing with the kids in the sunshine. After a jaunt at the park, I dropped the kids and Alex off at home and went to a friends house for a trail ride on a friendly horse named Flicka. She was rather lazy and so would fall behind and every so often she would run to catch up. This was very disconcerting at first until I got to know Flicka a bit and learned that she really will stop when I tell her to. It was a gorgeous day, and although my bottom is a bit tender, I ended up enjoying going a bit a faster. I can't wait to find time to do it again!

Receiving acts of kindness

2008-03-15T16:52:00.000-07:00

Being grossly sick this week has slowed me down to a snails pace. My usual pace has been quite impossible to maintain. Discouraging for one so used to being busy, having things to do, places to go, people to meet. Anyone who has known me throughout my pregnancies knows I loath the words, "take it easy." Yet for five days now I have found myself mostly housebound, and actually, enjoying some of it.

There have been offers to cook for me, people coming over to keep me company, and Alex's boss giving him unprecedented time off with a, "take as long as you need." I am getting bored, and would love to have my energy back, but being forced to acknowledge what incredible friends and family I have, has made the slowing down somewhat worth it. So, my body may be tired and sick and frustrated, but my soul is well-nourished and ready for another round of Marriott Mom-ness. Thanks everyone!

At ease or somthing like it.

2008-03-13T15:45:00.000-07:00

I have been "resting" for 4 days now, after a bout with pnemonia last weekend. I have taken sick days at the group home, pulleed myself out of music lessons for the week, aquired a fill-in maintainance person for the shelter, and asked Jamie to get her Mom to take the kids for the weekend.

I really did try to take it easy, but by yesterday afternoon I was going batty so I vacuumed the whole house and today I did about 11 loads of laundry and unpacked some more of the garage. I am sorry. I don't do "taking it easy" very well. I have learned, through this experience, never to spend money on a tropical vacation. I wouldn't last two days poolside before I went loopy. How does a person (as described to me by dear friends who vacation often) just sit on a beach day after day.

It's not that I don't stop to smell the roses, I do. It's just that, if I am stopping to smell them, why not weed them while I'm at it? Maybe even trim a few to take home. Far more satisfying, in my opinion.

Spring approaches..

2008-03-08T15:29:00.000-08:00

February, in my opinion, is the Wednesday of the year. It's the hump. Every year, February sees me just pluggin' away hoping for sunshine. So when I woke up one morning and suddenly it was March, I wasn't sure what happened to the previous month. Although, I really can't say I am sad to have missed it. Besides March is beginning with such fun....

Last week Miss Andrea passed me the reigns to teach a music class (with her close by my side of course.) She had an injured hand and called me up the night before to ask if I could wing it. It was fun and excruciating at the same time. It was like the first time you drive a car. You know how everything works, you covered that on the learner's test, but you keep waiting for something to explode because you've hit the wrong peddle or something. But nothing exploded and it was fun!

Then last night as I was suffering from a fever and chills and coughing up my spleen, my husband did the sweetest thing! First I must give you some background. While on our trip to Nelson, we bought this little booklet called 52 weeks of romance. It's a little book of nice things to do for each other. It's not that we need spicing up, it's that we are way too overworked right now to be very original and this is our way of preventing the need for spicing. So anyway, this week was Alex's week. After dealing with an ill wife and the 7 children running around here lately, he popped over to the store. Within a half hour of his return, he had scrubbed out the tub,filled it for a eucalyptus bath and brought me a bowl of fresh raspberries! It does not remotely matter that it wasn't an original idea, his timing was perfect and he turned a horribly painful, hacking, medicated day into all kinds of warm fuzzies. I said it before and I'll say it again, I think I'll keep him.

Seattle

2008-02-25T11:44:00.000-08:00

In July I will be heading to Seattle with Miss Andrea, my children's music teacher, to get trained as Musikgarten teacher!! I will be teaching babies and toddlers music lessons in the fall! I can't wait. When Andrea was telling me about the workshops, she was saying how intensive they are. She then asked if I would be OK doing a full week because of how tired I will be at the end of each day. My response was to ask her these questions.

Will I be able to use the washroom and shower uninterrupted?
Will I get into vehicle and only have to worry about doing up my own buckle?
Will I get a designated lunch break where I will sit down and eat at the same time and no one will eat off my plate but me?
Will I be able to concentrate on one thing at a time without getting asked 4 questions at once?
Will I get up in the morning and just dress myself?

Since Andrea answered yes to all of these through her laughter, I think I will manage six days of intense workshops just fine thank you very much.

P.S. for any interested people who might want to pop down from the coast, I will be out of most workshops around three and have my evenings free. This really sounds more like a poorly disguised holiday than training......

Roadtrip!!!

2008-02-23T06:39:00.000-08:00

Roadtrip!

We head out today at noon for a night to ourselves in Nelson. We have a room in the historic Blaylock mansion and we are going to have a nice dinner out and go shopping!! (Thank goodness for Tax returns!)

In other news, we attended KCF's second round of leadership olympics last night. This is the second year it came down to the team I was on and the team Alex was on and this is the second year my team soundly kicked his team's tooshies. :)

Eureka!

2008-02-21T09:00:00.000-08:00

Shiloh comes out of her room this morning with sunglasses on and exclaims, "Look Mom! My rock and roll is better! I can sing it again!"

What a relief.....

Kid Konversations

2008-02-19T15:27:00.000-08:00

Shiloh: I can't rock and roll anymore.
Mom: Why not?
Shiloh: I don't know what's wrong I just can't sing rock....
Mom: Is it broken?
Shiloh: Yea....can you help me fix it?

Hannah: I am going to be a piano player when I grow up.
Mom: I thought you were going to be a rock star with a guitar.
Hannah: Oh, that's just on Mondays and Wednesdays now. On the weekend I am going to play piano.
Mom: What if someone calls and asks you to play the piano on a Wednesday?
Hannah: (thoughtfully) I guess I will have to cancel the rock and roll that day....

Taking a moment to enjoy the view

2008-02-14T07:32:00.001-08:00

This morning has been the first time I have been able to just sit down in a week. Obviously understanding my tuckered-outness, Mother Nature has graced me with a beautiful morning. Out my kitchen window I can see Fisherpeak. Beautiful on any day, today it looks particularly mysterious and pretty with a shroud of translucent fog softening it's sharpest edges. As if this wasn't a compelling enough backdrop to my morning cuppa, there is a couple of deer hanging out in the front yard taking in the sights with me as the cars wizz by. To top it all off, my children are actually quiet! To think, even I can a achieve a moment of peace!!

On the Horizon

2008-02-07T07:53:00.000-08:00

I am ridiculously tired, sore, and in need of a vacation. I feel like the moment I finish any task there is a bigger one looming before me. I am working far more than 40 hours a week, homeschooling four kids, and still volunteering time for our church. I should really be having a nervous breakdown by now, shouldn't I?

Yet, I have this feeling of anticipation in my toes that keeps me moving. Every day the build-up of things to do get easier to manage. There isn't less to do, I am just getting better at juggling. I can't and won't keep this pace for long, but I don't think I'll have to. Like shadows in a fog, the next opportunities are beginning to take shape. The excitment of watching them become more clearly defined makes the insanity of the pace I am keeping, not only bearable, but exciting!

To quote Suess, "And when things start to happen, don't worry, don't stew.
Just go right along. You"ll start happening too!"

Happy Birthday Mom!

2008-02-02T15:38:00.000-08:00

Today is my Mother's birthday and the only time I have seen her is when she came to help get the girls out of the pool after swimming lessons because Alex stayed home with the sick Sir Levi. Not the celebration I would give her, had she or I the time to spend.

This year Mom and I bonded with a trip back east to see her family and celebrate her parent's 60th wedding anniversary. It was a fabulous trip! I can only speak for myself, but I think it allowed a new dimention of adult relationship to bud between us. (As adult as hummingbird impersonations can be anyway)

My sister has posted a fabulous picture of Mom on her blog, please do go look if you haven't seen it yet. As for myself, however, I am refraining from posting pictures because the only one that would satisfy is the only one Mom made me promise never to post. (But if you see her, ask her about hummingbirds) Happy Birthday!

Good morning Handsome

2008-01-27T07:15:00.000-08:00

As I was sitting on the couch taking a breather from the hurried morning exodus, this handsome man walks over to me with a warm and inviting look on his face. Then I sneezed.

Rather that say bless you and offer me his hand to get up, he stops dead in his tracks and says,
"I was going to kiss you but now that you have sneeze fresh in your mouth, I'll wait..."

And this is what it looks like to be married 8 years....

Dainty is as dainty does...or something

2008-01-26T17:24:00.000-08:00

We celebrated Hannah's birthday today in true pink Hannah style. Teeny teacups, itty bitty scones, mini cupcakes and pink plastered everywhere! The girls started their party by decorating straw hats. Good practice for becoming red-hatted ladies in some distant future. Once adorned with their pretty bonnets, the girls sat down for tea, high society style, complete with handsome servants. Hannah is all pajama'd up now, and still beaming!

Today

2008-01-23T07:35:00.000-08:00

Today is Hannah's 7th birthday! Seven! Where did the time go? Like fine cheese, my sweet girl has aged well. She began life as the least quiet of our bunch, always uncomfortable as a baby. She tested the title of Mother for me. Helpless is the feeling that comes when you know your baby is sick and no one can tell you why outside of labeling her colicky. There were moments in her first year that I thought she would go through life believing I couldn't help her with anything.

However, when her discomfort subsided along with her tears she became one of the most affectionate little girls I have ever known. She worshiped her big brother and climbed on him endlessly. She loved her daddy and would take any chance she got to curl up next to him. And, as my belly grew with the fullness that was to become Shiloh, Hannah was intrigued. When Shiloh finally arrived, she was thrilled!

Now, Hannah is a young lady. Confident and charming, intelligent and pretty. When she is asked to do a chore or help a sibling, her usual response is, "Of course, Mama!" That is not to say she is without any sort of impishness. When left to their devices, she and her big brother are capable of all sorts mischievous acts around the house. She is his faithful student as he teaches her to play chess and her maturity shines through with her good sportsmanship.

Happy birthday sweetheart!

Wake up World

2008-01-21T00:41:00.000-08:00

It is 1:30 a.m. and all the living room lights are out on my block. Most people sleep at this "unholy" hour, but not I. No, I have just come in from the cold, and though I am very tired, the cold jolts me wide awake on my way home from work. This is so not what I signed up for.......

The bright side? The moon is very pretty and Cranbrook is still just small enough to see a few stars. How many people actually look at the stars. I mean, really, look at them. I think I may pick up a book on constellations and brush up on my astronomy. That will make coming home at 1:30 in the morning worth it, won't it?

At least there is coffee for the real morning. I am, of course, talking about that time of day when normal people get up, get dressed, and go start their cars. The time of the day when you don't consider picking up books about the stars for the sole purpose of not going insane. It's a good time of day I will never take for granted again. 'Cause, even if you are blurry-eyed, there is usually someone suffering alongside you. Misery loves company and all that. Perhaps I should mount a fog horn to the front of my house and wake the neighborhood when I get home from work so I won't be lonely. That could be fun the first few times........

Just wondering...

2008-01-19T10:43:00.000-08:00

So I am bumbling around from site to site, checking emails and reading up on the goings on of various blogger-buddies, and suddenly something occurs to me. One of my sisters, who shall remain nameless, has not yet a blog of her own. Why not? I ask myself. She reads ours and finds time to comment. She has a Facebook profile. She even has a puppy and is newly married; good blogger fodder. Is she afraid of the competition? The commitment? Has it simply not occurred to her? I, for one, am signing the petition! If she can learn to knit, she can learn to blog! Come to the dark side!

No pressure of course. Just wondering.

Kiddies Crafting

2008-01-14T11:21:00.000-08:00

"Here are some pictures of the munchkins diving into some of their creative gifts. Notice the lack of paint smocks. I had cleaned out their closets over the holidays and got rid off all the clothes they don't use anymore. I forgot to save "play clothes" for life's dirtier moments. So I turned the heat up a bit and they used the wipeable smocks nature gave them. It took a few washings to get Selah clean after her "oonoosare 'aintin" (for those less fluent in Selah speak that is dinosaur painting).

WARNING snarky post ahead. optimists beware.

2008-01-05T04:39:00.000-08:00

Let me paint you a picture of my morning. It's before six a.m. and I have been up since before three. Alex just left for Calgary with his boss and in about three hours I have start getting the kids ready for swimming lessons. I have little or no desire whatsoever to actually consider doing anything remotely productive in the next twenty-four hours.

So here I am bumbling around on the Internet because I can't sleep and neither can I stare at the ceiling any longer. Suddenly this page comes up with an oh-so-inspiring message. It says, "Dream like you'll live forever. Live like you'll die tomorrow." The thing is, this message is spray-painted on a crumbling wall in an alley somewhere. Thank-you teenage kid with the spray can. I just couldn't go through another day without your ageless wisdom.

I'm sorry, am I being a downer? It's just that the message is awesome in theory but sometimes the daily grind is the daily grind. Period. If I knew I was going to die tomorrow, I would not being doing the things I need to do today. Sometimes you just gotta grin and bear it. Sometimes you just don't get to have the warm fuzzies about your day. Besides, those peppy, always happy people are annoying. You know they are. Don't deny it.

Today, I will enjoy my children's swimming lessons. I will get to the end of today with a feeling of satisfaction and accomplishment. But, today, I do not the time or the energy to "live like I'll die tomorrow."

Grandad Santa comes to town

2007-12-23T18:18:00.000-08:00

Santa: Have you been doing what you're told right away?
Shiloh: Well I did once.

Santa: What should I bring for your Dad?
Hannah: cooking mitts!

This one of Levi and Santa is him whispering what mom should get.
More pictures and hopefully a video on facebook! ('course we all know how long it takes me to figure out anything technilogicalish.)

inspiring social abberation

2007-12-19T06:58:00.000-08:00

I went shopping with a friend who is staying with us last night. It was snowing. The kind of snow that comes straight down, not falling but floating. So when we were done putting our groceries away I lifted my face to the sky to catch fat fluffy flakes in my mouth. Suddenly, I was hit in the chest with a snowball.

It wasn't the snowball that was odd, it was the culprit who threw it. About ten feet away, in the almost empty parking lot stood a woman laughing out loud. Not a menacing laugh, but a cheerful belly laugh. My friend burst out laughing so hard she couldn't breathe. What could I do but join in?

It was late and we had left Alex alone with six small children, so there wasn't time to chat in the parking lot, but as we drove away I wish there had been. It occurs to me that she is the kind of person who will keep you from taking your life to seriously. With her slightly greying hair, laugh lines, and fabulous aim, this random woman made me laugh more genuinely than I have in a good while.

chaos

2007-12-18T07:00:00.000-08:00

I am taking six kids (four of them under 5) to playgroup and shopping today. The part that makes me insane is that I am actually looking forward to it.

sigh

2007-12-11T18:42:00.000-08:00

We put Grover down today. Now we are eating ice cream and watching movies. Poop.

A deep breath

2007-12-05T07:25:00.000-08:00

As I was sliding down the street to home this morning I was excited to see the snow melted from around my yard and learn that no more of it had entered my house. Yay!

We are decorating today. Scented candles, a rosemary mini-tree and pots of freezer soup simmering in the crockpot and on the stove has made my kitchen smell tremendously welcoming. Today I am going to unpack a few boxes, bake some cookies, sort and tidy, and enjoy my children.

Today I am going to finish recovering from the rest of the week and put up more pictures so I will have reminders of why a job, a duvet, and a basement aren't what give my life meaning. Maybe those reminders will help curb the incredible whining I am capable of next time there is a glitch in my plans. Today I am going to take a deep breath and a chill pill.

A series of unfortunate events

2007-12-03T18:40:00.000-08:00

Apparently I am just as stubborn as I seem, maybe more.

The basement flooded today. I considered using the shrunken, matted llama wool (as mentioned in a previous post) to soak up the water in the pantry. It seemed a tragic picture that would satisfy the universe that hates me.

My children spent the evening speculating what would happen if we didn't get the water to stop and how long it would take to flood their rooms. Then Shiloh was trying to convince her younger sister that it would be cool to swim in the basement. This will all be very funny when the carpet is dry........

Mom brought me some wine. I will be having a glass or two tonight and I will probably be praying (as described a few posts ago).

Ah blog therapy, I almost feel as though sanity will someday come again......

Ok, so I am a SPAZ

2007-11-29T15:19:00.000-08:00

Today, several times, on the radio and in conversation, this scripture from proverbs has come up: "Lean not on your own understanding...." By about the third time I threw up my hands and said, "K, God, I get the point. I don't always have to know how it's going to work out."

Within an hour of my frustrated surrender, I got a phone call telling me our contract has been held over until Jan. and my duvet was in the process of being replaced by a brand new fluffy down duvet. Things work out how they are supposed to. I know this, have always known this. So why do I keep flipping out at every bump? I guess I will just have to keep slamming up against walls until I learn the lesson. Boy, I hope I am less stubborn than I seem..........

There are some days you shouldn't get out of bed for....

2007-11-28T10:59:00.000-08:00

Already tired and miserable from yesterday's events, I went to go pick up my Llama wool duvet. I thought maybe wrapping myself in cuddly warmth with a hot choco would cheer me up. Made with love by a friend who owns the Llamas. I sheared the wool off these Llamas my very own self. When I left it at the dry cleaner, I made a point of explaining all this to the nice lady at the desk.

My Llama wool duvet has been washed....

blah!

2007-11-28T07:47:00.000-08:00

So yesterday, while pulling a 33 hour shift, I was informed that my regular hours at work have been cut in half. Apparently I am going into the Christmas season as a part-timer instead of a full-timer. (Breath Mom, it'll be OK)

My employers say they are going to do everything they can to get this decision reversed. In the meantime, I am spending the morning budgeting. Oh goodie!

A.M.

2007-11-26T08:21:00.000-08:00

It is certainly a Monday morning. Slow and groggy, already wishing for the weekend, I am brewing coffee and blogging the A.M. blues away. As I am sitting at the computer this morning I over hear this adorable exchange:

Selah wakes up and sits down to breakfast, obviously not quite ready to be awake. She hears the kids cleaning up downstairs. "Oh! Doh!" She says excitedly and heads for the stairs. At the top of the stairs she yells."Dooooooohhh!" Shiloh responds, "Hi Selah, it's me, Doh." Darned cute is what that is!

Anyhoo, coffee is brewed and I have many important things to do today. Like laundry and dishes and finding my bed under the boxes and books we unpacked. Happy Monday!

Tagged

2007-11-20T08:58:00.000-08:00

My sister keeps tagging me and I am getting behind so I figured I better answer quick before she gets another in. Also, I think I need to start heading out to read other peoples links so I can meet some people to pass the tag to. Anyhoo, my answers:

1. What were you afraid of as a child? Well, after sneaking to a friend house to watch a movie (that I wasn't allowed to watch) I acquired a fear of dark water.

2. When have you been most courageous? Just recently as I watched my son walk down a busy street by himself to go to a lesson and didn't chase after him. I am very good at babies, 8 year olds and budding independence terrify me...

3. What sound most disturbs you? Careless disrespect spilling out of human orifices. Whether it is a spouse belittling a spouse, a parent disregarding a child, or a child being utterly ungrateful. Especially when I realize it has slipped out of my own mouth. Makes me sick.

4. What is the greatest amount of physical pain you have been in? 3rd child, two hours of transition and tearing uterine ligaments. She was still worth it.

5. Whats the biggest fear for your children? That the society we live in will make them selfish and bitter or selfless and angry. That they won't find love or balance. That they will inherit this society's feeling of entitlement.

6. What is the hardest physical challenge you have ever achieved? Climbing Fisher Peak. Especially the last 20 feet, since I wasn't breathing from fear of falling off.

7. Which do you prefer: mountains or oceans/big water? I have a very deep love for my mountains, especially as the seasons change. You can watch winter creep down them in the fall and retreat back up in the spring. Breath-taking. However, for as long as I can remember I have had a secret lust for the ocean. I crave the opportunity sit on the edge of a sailboat, at night, in the middle of the ocean, to see what the stars look like from there.

8. What is the one thing you do for yourself that helps you keep everything together? I pray. Not always that nice holy praying either. Sometimes I scream, or sob, or sit silently with God, and sometimes I just list all the reasons I am grateful, but every time I walk away having regained a sense of myself and my place in the universe.

9. Ever had a close relative or friend with cancer? Of course. The first person I lost to cancer was my best friends mom when I was little. For a long time after I dreamed about her. She was very pretty and she would let us sit on her bed and help us paint our nails. I remember overhearing my parents talk about her in the car in front of swingstreet before she died. I didn't know it was cancer until several years later.

10. What are the things your friends count on you for? An ear,a cup of tea, a bit of chocolate, and every so often, a little advice.

11. What is the best part of being in a committed relationship? Pillow talk. Tickle fights. A shoulder to cry on that comes with unconditional understanding. Accountability. Fresh coffee in the morning. Having someone to watch my back, especially when I am too tired to protect my front. Cuddles. Having someone who loves me enough to tell me when I am acting like a child or just being plain stupid. Indoor water fights. Not having to change all the diapers. Being challenged to grow. Knowing there is someone who will sit quietly and hold me when the world is caving in and I am so desperately sad that I can barely sit upright. Knowing he shares my joy. And, as everything attached to me succumbs to gravity, he will still think I am beautiful because he knows the premature grey hair and stretch marks are pretty much his fault. And the naked thing......

12. What is the hardest part about being in a committed relationship? Trying not to take it for granted. I am so comfortable in this relationship that it has become like my right arm. I am glad I have a right arm. My world would change drastically without my right arm. I would miss my right arm if it wasn't there when I woke up in the morning. But, it's not like I remember to thank God for my right arm every day. I don't spend time thinking about how lucky I am to have a right arm. I don't get up in the morning and put scented lotion on my right arm just to make it feel special, just to make sure it knows how much I appreciate it. But, I am really glad I have one.

13. Summer or winter? Why? Spring actually. I love watching the fresh green things stretch out of brown, wet earth. Babies of all kinds appearing everywhere. Peeling off the layers of winter clothing to let my skin get acquainted with the warmth of the sun again. Pressing my hands into the soil of my garden to plant new seeds. Hmmm spring.

14. Have you ever been in a schoolyard fight? Why and what happened? Gr.10. I had a friend named Peter who was dating a girl who had a habit of being a bit jealous. Another girl had hugged Peter and, his girlfriend, being the jealous type, started spreading the news that she was going beat her up after school. Even in high school, I threw my two cents into piggy banks where they were not welcome. I stuck up for the offending hugger, saying that friends hugged friends all the time and it wasn't an excuse to bruise people. Well, as I was packing up my locker, two girls came to inform me that the girlfriend was in front of the school waiting for me. What else could I do but go out to meet her? So, out I went. I stood there, trembling, silently telling my body not to pee, and watching the crowd of faces expand. I looked at the girlfriend and, in my best I'm-not-really-scared-of-you-voice, said, "I am not stupid, you are half again my size, you could absolutely kick my ass. I am not sure what this will prove but do what you have to do so I can get on with my homework." She never did end up hitting me, but she has never spoken to me again, and I managed not to wet myself so I figure it ended well.

15. Why blog? Because I can't afford therapy.

16. Did you learn about sex and/or sex safety from your parents? I don't remember "the talk" but I do remember my Mom cleaning her room when I was 17 and asking if I wanted her lifesaver pack of condoms. I asked her if they were usable and she said no they are expired. About fifteen minutes later she followed me into the bedroom and said, "Are you having sex? Don't you dare get pregnant!" 11 months later I was married and holding my new baby boy. I never have been very good at doing what I'm told.

17. How do you plan on talking to your kids about sex and/or sex safety? We use proper names for body parts. We talk about reproduction. As they get older we will talk about how sex is not just an activity to pass the time. It is beautiful and special and has all kinds of consequences attached. Some of those consequences can be guarded against but some can't so you better be darn sure you know what you're getting into.

18. What are you most thankful for this year? My sister getting married to a man I feel good about my children calling uncle.

It's raining, It's pouring.......

2007-11-13T21:43:00.000-08:00

.......inside Boston Pizza. Yup. Inside. One minute, we are having a lovely dinner with Mike and Anie; the next minute, Alex has a torrential downpour in his lap. It made for a good story and some giggles for dessert. We were just about to leave anyway......

dreams filter to reality...

2007-11-09T07:37:00.000-08:00

So many exciting happenings have come about, or are coming about, this fall. New babies, long wished for, a homeless shelter long worked for and a fuller home long sought after.

A week and a half ago, a friend of ours invited me to share in the birth of a baby that took a little while to get here. He is beautiful and he has that intoxicating new baby smell that had me melting and had Alex reminding his doctor to get him a referral to the surgeon.

Two days ago, the shelter officially had all it's start up money. There is construction going on down at our church and it is awesome! We still need money for operating costs, but once people see it up and running, they will see the need to keep it going. Yay!!

As for some of the other transitions going on in our life, they are exciting, but not yet a definite reality. We are moving slowly especially with one of our adventures to be certain our priorities stay firmly in place.

More news as it comes.....

Gettin the word out

2007-11-04T16:46:00.000-08:00

News about the shelter seems to be propelling through cyber-space. Cool. A local musician put together a video on youtube with a friend. Rick was one of the generous people lending their talents to our fundraiser on Saturday night. Check it out.

Cranbrook's first shelter

2007-11-03T21:32:00.000-07:00

Our church, along with The Salvation Army, has been trying to raise funds to put an emergency homeless shelter in Cranbrook. We have been working at this for over a year now and tonight we had a fundraiser concert. We need renovation money, money for beds and other such necessary equipment, and we need operating costs. Things are moving, but slowly, and winter is coming down the mountain at a rapid pace.

So, I realize many of you who read this blog are from other communities. I realize that there are issues that your own cities face, that you could support solutions for. However, if anyone has an extra $20 (or more) laying around that they haven't found a use for yet, you could send it my way and help support getting a few people out of the cold.

The Stones

2007-10-28T17:27:00.000-07:00

Nope, not going to a concert. I am talking about the green ones that my dear Mother promised to leave to me when she kicks the bucket. When she awoke from her recent gallbladder surgery, these precious gems were at her bedside in a little plastic jar. Apparently, the doctors felt she should have a memento to remember her forsaken organ by. With my older sister as a witness, my Mom stated that I get to have the earrings that she will someday make from these little green pebbles. I think it is quite fitting since my birthstone is green. Just imagine, some moment in the distant future, I shall be sitting in my rocker, with my purple hair, red hat and green earrings, reminiscing about my Mother. Perhaps, I will have grandchildren scattered at my feet. After I tell them all about this marvelous woman who raised me, I shall show them my earrings and tell them, "This is all I have left of her."

Good ol' Gratitude

2007-10-07T13:45:00.000-07:00

Ok , so it's cliche. But I can't help it this time. Alex and I just came back from a conference that really altered our perspective. I am genuinely exited about how unbelievably cool my life is. So here it is. My list of gratitude. It is a mix of deep and very very shallow.

I am thankful for:

*My unbelievable children, who, on more than one occasion, have been my reason for getting out of bed in the morning.
*My husband and his incredible character. How did I end up with that guy?
*Big windows for all the light to shine in.
*Baked brie and garlic. Need I say more?
*Accountability and the people to share it with.
*Good food and good music. mmmmmm
*3am tea
*Skinned knees
*The entire Dalton/Sharp/Marriott clan with all it's many quirks. I'm am glad to have known some that have moved on and all that chose not to.
*My very hip bathroom.
*KCF and the tenacity of friendships conceived there.
*My God, his son, and the ability to move on from my mistakes.

There is so much more, but there are turkeys to cook and potatoes to mash.
Happy Thanksgiving everyone! Especially Erin and Ferd! We miss you and are thinking of you!

Just another night at the stage door

2007-09-29T14:10:00.000-07:00

I was asked if I would do concession for a concert I hadn't really intended to go to. Not because I wasn't interested but because September is just busy. Well, since it was going to be free except the cost of a little schmoozing and money counting, how could I refuse. So I went. And fell in love with music all over again.

His name is Kelly Joe Phelps and by his own confession feels socially awkward between songs. However, from an audience perspective he makes you feel as if you are in his living room having a weekend jam session after a hearty potluck. He is quiet but clever and inviting. Good entertainment from the first hello. Then he starts playing....

His fingers literally dance over the strings of his guitar as if they were life long lovers. The picking is complicated but the music simple enough to draw you in. We sat there in awe as we watched him caress his music from those strings. Beautiful. As if that isn't enough, he starts to sing...

I would use the term "voice like an angel," if it weren't for the incredible raw humanness he sings with. He hits you with wave after wave of unashamed emotion. It's been a long time since a musician brought tears to my eyes. Especially one whose story I didn't know well. I think it took me a few songs before I managed to actually hear the lyrics. Which are, in themselves, testimony to incredible talent and heart. It made more than one of us wonder what the heck this guy is doing playing at the stage door and other such small locations.

The musician in me is more than a little envious. It is simply unfair for the universe to bestow such talent on one individual. Yet the music lover in me is so grateful that such talent wasn't wasted on someone who doesn't get it and wouldn't use it. I have walked away with a sense of being satisfied as though I have eaten or slept well; as if my soul has been well nourished. I am inspired again to continue on my own musical journey, remembering that the very best part comes in the sharing.

Two today

2007-09-27T09:22:00.000-07:00

Conversations to be overheard in the Marriott house .....

Mom: Hannah go clean up the clothes on the floor in your room.
Hannah: Okay (pause) The garbage can keeps moving. That means its alive.
Dad: Sure it does.
Hannah: No it doesn't.

Mom: Selah why aren't you wearing pants again!?
Selah:(looking down at her half-naked self as though she didnt realize, and then doing the home alone face) Oh no! I peed downstairs! Oh no! OH NO!

Mom: (seeing Selah has no pants again ) Selah where are your pants?
Selah: NO!
Mom: Selah did you pee in your pants?
Selah: (singing) no no nnoooooooooooo (runs away)

Fall Fellowship

2007-09-27T07:46:00.000-07:00

The other day we went for a romp in the park with a friend and her crew. It was chilly, but not too cold to play without mittens. It was one of those afternoons that stripped ordinary humdrum from my view of my life. It happens every so often. A moment bursting with richness that takes my breath away.

This time it was simply watching my children interact with each other. Watching Hannah and Levi take turns bearing the other up on their shoulders so they could cross the monkey bars. Seeing the uncontainable excitement on Shiloh's face as she makes it up the climbing wall, "all by myself, Mama!!." Hannah and Levi helping Selah have a ride on the seesaw, one holding her up and the other pumping the other side up and down.

It made me think of another bunch of siblings playing in a little lake while their parents watched from shore with such odd grins on their faces. I didn't get it then. I thought maybe those two parents were getting soft. I think I get it now.

ceasing summer

2007-09-21T06:56:00.000-07:00

The early morning chill has set in. Creaking joints and back muscles are beginning to beg for the big blankets to be applied to the beds soon. This weekend we will break out the winter clothes and tuck away those items reserved for summer moments. I must say though, there is a crisper quality to the sun cascading through the front windows that makes me want to get outside despite the cold. It's going to be a fantastic fall.

Goodbye kittens

2007-09-20T08:07:00.000-07:00

Yesterday morning the very last kitten, Cricket, left on her journey to the coast to live with friends of ours. Suddenly the house is a lot quieter. The incessant scratching has ceased and the constant thumpity thump of kittens attacking each other, fluff, and imaginary kitten friends is no more. Sparrow has settled down and is already blissfully calm and snuggly again. She has stopped mewing at me to help her get the darn little things off her. I guess even four legged mom's get excited about having a little personal space now and then.